Hey guys!
Sorry for not blogging in so long. I
simply wish I could fill all of you in on the happenings of my past 4-5
months, but it would just be way to much to write about. A few things
that I want to mention due to relevance of any future posts are the
following:
--- I set a goal for myself to train and run
a half marathon as a part of Team One Step. However, in the earlier
half of my training I suffered a hamstring strain and let me tell ya,
NOT FUN. The injury occurred July 8, 2012 and I was not pain free until
I started physical therapy the second week of August. This did not
leave me much time to finish training, considering the half was Sept 8,
and upon d/c from physical therapy, my PT cleared me to increase my
mileage .25 a week, which I have obeyed! :) To this point in time I am
up to 2.5 miles again (YAYYY!!!!!!! Not much, but when you are injured,
you would do anything to run just that much!) So of course, not running
my half that I had my heart set on was tough but I did not want/there
was no possible way, I could actually run this injury without being in
pain the entire time, and more than likely following up with another
injury that will set me back again for future events!
I
have definitely learned from that experience (of course) and now I am
taking steps to make sure I maintain every aspect of my life that is
relevant in allowing me to successfully complete future events. These
"aspects of my life" (nutrition, strength training, mentality,
stretching, listening to my body and taking injury prevention measures
(ice, heat, KT Tape, compression sleeves, etc) are not just things I do
for training, I say "of my life," because that's what they are... they
are a part of who I am and I don't just ignore them until they need to
become a priority. I learn from my mistakes and I consider my body to
be fragile, I feel that (literally) one wrong move may have a negative
outcome and may result in injury. Anyway, this was important to discuss
because for my new blog, which, hopefully can be linked within this
one, I will be focusing on Mind-Body Wellness/Training!! :) I hope to
interest you by blogging about the ups,downs, lessons, and future goals I
have in regards to my physical and mental training/conditioning.
-Alright, So now that I am back in training mode with no injuries (***hold my breath, knock on wood, fingers crossed***) I am about to get in "The Zone." I have registered to do the Sears Tower Stair Climb
in Chicago on NOVEMBER 4th!!!! I AM SOOO excited and anxious!!! Last
year I did the Aon Center "Step Up for Kids," 82 floor (?) climb. This
was my first and I was very proud of myself for my completion time. See
my Athlinks profile for results here: http://athlinks.com/racer/118538989
,based upon my time for the Aon Climb, I would like to set a goal for
myself to finish under 27:00 for the Sears. I love that last year was
my first year finally applying my dedication for fitness to actually
participating in timed events! I think I had always filled myself with
the fear that I was not well enough conditioned to complete such events
at a reasonable time so I never participated. Now, I feel like this is
something I owe to myself, it isn't to compete against others. It's to
reward myself for maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle, I love to
see my hard work and dedication pay off. These events make me challenge
myself to work to be a better me, I love having a goal to work towards,
and such races make me compete against myself. I love the quote: "I
don't stop when I'm tired, I stop when I'm done," this is how I feel
about workouts and it's that mentality that keeps me pushing my hardest
the entire time of an event. I want to over achieve the goals that I
have set out for myself, I have previously established times for my past
events, and now I am adding to that list as well as having my sights
set on setting new PR's!! :)
----REDEFINE YOUR IMPOSSIBLE!----
Alright, just gotta throw in another thing here
because it was the last post I had blogged about back in June. My
experience with the Chicago Nike Northside vs Southside 16" Softball
Game. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I can honestly say I had the best 2 days ever that
week, it was by far one of, if not THEE coolest opportunities that I
have ever had the chance to be a part of! The first night I went up and
they just had me doing my thing at GSP Boxing Gym downtown Chicago.
They had recorded me doing my warm ups, stretching, hitting the bags,
and several drills that are a part of the Nike+ Training Drill Pack that
syncs with the Nike Lunar Hyper Workout training shoes. If you are a
fan of doing at home cardio drills, I strongly recommend purchasing a
pair of these shoes. I am literally DRIPPING sweat by the time I
finish, which reminds me, I need to start utilizing those
shoes/application again! So the next day we had the softball game, I
did not expect it to be nearly as large of an event as it turned out to
be! I thought it would just be a small pick up game with the two teams,
some Nike team members, a couple staff members from the company that
did the film production, AKA...Suite Partners, and of course A.J.
Pierzynski and the Northside's coach for the day, Johnny Knox. I walk
up to the field that we were playing at in Lincoln Park and I about
died. Tents, cameras, trailers, workers everywhere, banners, you name
it... of course quite, shy, little me did not expect an event this size
and I was just like, "what did I get myself into!?" LOL! But just an
overall AWESOME experience, I am sooo fortunate to meet some of the
people that God places into my life. Some have more significance than
others, yet they all play a role in my personal development. At this
event, along with the Nike staff, I also worked with Suite Partners, as I
had previously mentioned. It's so funny because I really don't know
them that well but to me, each person I met that day from their company
was beyond friendly, down to Earth, welcoming, fun, and just an overall
pleasure to work with and be around! I felt very empowered by this
experience, Nike and Suite Partners did a great job working together to
carry out such a fantastic event. In these 2 days, I felt like I
stepped made a major change in myself, I did things that I did not think
ever possible for me, I stepped outside of my comfort zone, I felt as
though a part of me just grew up and became more mature in the sense of
my future aspirations. Since this experience, I feel much more
empowered to make the things I dream of achieving someday into a
reality. I know now that nothing is out of reach and I am capable of
doing great things. Thank you for helping me to realize this, Nike!
<3
Soooo I thought I would share this video with y'all now! :)
Enjoy ~~~> Nike Video!! Here's the link in case that one does not work:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IvxB-akT_A&feature=youtu.be
-- So now that you're a little more up to date on my life, I just want to invite you to continue following me as I begin working towards creating my new blog!
Thanks for reading guys, I really appreciate your time and interest in reading what I have to say.
<3
Kristin.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Hold Your Head High Beautiful.
Hey everyone!!
So sorry for going M.I.A. on my blog, hopefully I'll be able to gain some of you back! **fingers crossed!**
Hmm, soo what have I been up to this past month? For starters, I've had a huge writers block! I have been on a little mental vacation and have not really had really insightful things to write about. I've been very lethargic and have had a bit of brain fog and can't just put thoughts together in my head or organize all my priorities. This would then result in what would be a very meaningless blog posts, so be thankful I have not been writing! : P
I am so so so so happy and anxious to inform you all that I have been directly focusing on my fitness and nutrition lately though! This is the type of material that I have a passion for, along with my physical therapy degree as well, of course! What I'm getting at is that I have been focusing on these things for myself and for others also, why is this important to mention now you might ask? Well let me tell ya!
For a little over the past month I've been tossing around the idea of doing the Chicago Half Marathon and 5k on September 9, 2012!!! I officially decided to do it in May and now I am in the middle of a 14 week training and nutrition plan!!! YAYY!!!!! I am SOO excited to do this, the Children's Oncology Services Inc., One Step at a Time Camp that I volunteer for has a running team that will be participating in this event and I have decided to join their team in hopes of raising money for COSI, http://www.onestepcamp.org/ <-----CHECK IT OUT, this camp has had half of my heart for the past 4 years!!!! <3
Not only have I decided to run the Half Marathon but I have also been participating in a 1x/wk women's kickboxing class that will soon be 2x/wk starting in July!! This kickboxing class is down right intense! This isn't your YMCA or Rec. Center kickboxing, this is full out taped wrists, boxing gloves, bags, pads, tire flipping, bag hanging, plyometrics, combo throwing, kicking, etc for 1.5 pure muscle burning and sweat dripping hours! I love it, I'm dedicated to it and have the desire to get myself in the best shape possible! I love doing things like this because it is a challenge and I love making myself work hard and knowing that I won't quit until my workout is over!
My next big announcement is that through Twitter, @kCull_4, I participated in their #Northside vs #Southside Challenge last week to be eligible for a chance to play in a 16" softball game on 6-21 in Chicago where I will be coached by either Ryan Dempster or A.J. Pierzynski! Nike informed me on Wednesday that I was chosen and that I will be a player in that game.... can't watch to play for the #Southside, thanks ahead of time Coach Pierzynski!!! <3 WOOOO!!!! I'm sooo excited, I'm tellin' ya'll, the Nike Fuel Band is where it's at!!!!! Nike really scored some points in my book with this one!!! :)
Soooo OF COURSE all of these things make me soo proud of myself but the reason that it does really make me that much happier is because I look back at where I was with my life this exact time 3 months ago and I was a completely different person. Things were at a very low point, and thankfully I was able to pull myself through it with the support of others and look at me now. I would like to share some things that make me proud of my progress and make me realize and appreciate the opportunities that I have been blessed with....
friend:
So sorry for going M.I.A. on my blog, hopefully I'll be able to gain some of you back! **fingers crossed!**
Hmm, soo what have I been up to this past month? For starters, I've had a huge writers block! I have been on a little mental vacation and have not really had really insightful things to write about. I've been very lethargic and have had a bit of brain fog and can't just put thoughts together in my head or organize all my priorities. This would then result in what would be a very meaningless blog posts, so be thankful I have not been writing! : P
I am so so so so happy and anxious to inform you all that I have been directly focusing on my fitness and nutrition lately though! This is the type of material that I have a passion for, along with my physical therapy degree as well, of course! What I'm getting at is that I have been focusing on these things for myself and for others also, why is this important to mention now you might ask? Well let me tell ya!
For a little over the past month I've been tossing around the idea of doing the Chicago Half Marathon and 5k on September 9, 2012!!! I officially decided to do it in May and now I am in the middle of a 14 week training and nutrition plan!!! YAYY!!!!! I am SOO excited to do this, the Children's Oncology Services Inc., One Step at a Time Camp that I volunteer for has a running team that will be participating in this event and I have decided to join their team in hopes of raising money for COSI, http://www.onestepcamp.org/ <-----CHECK IT OUT, this camp has had half of my heart for the past 4 years!!!! <3
Not only have I decided to run the Half Marathon but I have also been participating in a 1x/wk women's kickboxing class that will soon be 2x/wk starting in July!! This kickboxing class is down right intense! This isn't your YMCA or Rec. Center kickboxing, this is full out taped wrists, boxing gloves, bags, pads, tire flipping, bag hanging, plyometrics, combo throwing, kicking, etc for 1.5 pure muscle burning and sweat dripping hours! I love it, I'm dedicated to it and have the desire to get myself in the best shape possible! I love doing things like this because it is a challenge and I love making myself work hard and knowing that I won't quit until my workout is over!
My next big announcement is that through Twitter, @kCull_4, I participated in their #Northside vs #Southside Challenge last week to be eligible for a chance to play in a 16" softball game on 6-21 in Chicago where I will be coached by either Ryan Dempster or A.J. Pierzynski! Nike informed me on Wednesday that I was chosen and that I will be a player in that game.... can't watch to play for the #Southside, thanks ahead of time Coach Pierzynski!!! <3 WOOOO!!!! I'm sooo excited, I'm tellin' ya'll, the Nike Fuel Band is where it's at!!!!! Nike really scored some points in my book with this one!!! :)
Soooo OF COURSE all of these things make me soo proud of myself but the reason that it does really make me that much happier is because I look back at where I was with my life this exact time 3 months ago and I was a completely different person. Things were at a very low point, and thankfully I was able to pull myself through it with the support of others and look at me now. I would like to share some things that make me proud of my progress and make me realize and appreciate the opportunities that I have been blessed with....
friend:
- how are you
- ive seen better days, how about yourself?
friend:
- who cares about me whats wrong!?
ME:
- it doesnt really matter
friend:
- okay just trying to help!
- Im sorry
ME:
- its kay
- theres really nothing to help with
friend:
- understandable
- hows everything else
ME
- honestly, it all sucks
- im quite the debbie downer, i wish i could tell you something im really happy about right now but i really cant..
- maybe the fact that i started working out again makes me kinda happy?
Why is this so important to share with you all? Because this is a direct conversation I had with a friend on March 19th, I love the part where I say "The fact that I started working out again makes me kinda happy?" I believe staying busy, active and focusing my negative energy in a different place helps me to establish the important things in my life and to maintain a sense of balance with my mental and emotional well-being! Looking at this makes me proud, yet it breaks my heart. This person is not who I am and I hate seeing myself at those low points. Over the course of time, I've been able to realize with the help of my psychiatrist, that my lows are abnormally low. This is where I lead into my depressed moods. I have been prescribed a medication, Celexa, that will help regulate that and my anxiety as well (hence the reason for my brain fog and lethargy!) So far I'm not noticing a huge change myself (I just want to stop feeling tired all the time) but my boss did mention to me that she loves seeing me so happy and that I seem so light and stress free now, perhaps because I'm on summer vacation as well too? But I am happy to say that I can not even remember the last time I needed to take a Xanax!!!! That is really great, I had no problem whatsoever coming off of it, but I was on a low dose so I DO NOT recommend anyone else do the same without your doctors guidance!
I want to close on this quote and advice that I received from a teacher during that same low point, I hope it is able to touch you as much as it did for me.
"You feel however you do, and that's OK. As long as you are safe, then that is all that matters. You are getting the help you need, so I am glad for that. It is really difficult to ask for help, so you have one of the hardest parts out of the way."
---cut other info out, then my teacher closed with this......---
***"I have been where you are. It gets better. Really."***
----And then I lost it. It's just so comforting to have someone who understands what your going through be there to tell you it will be okay. You might choose not to listen and believe them because you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but you just need to keep your head up and keep walking. It is there, whatever hard time you are currently facing is only temporary. It hurts bad, I know and its unfair that anyone should hurt the way you do, but please listen and trust me when I tell you to take it as a learning experience. You will grow from this and learn things about yourself. You will be able to take those learning experiences and use the knowledge that you've gained to in turn help others. I have faith in you and I know that it is just a rough patch, please realize that you can help yourself. Asking for others to help is not a weakness either, I am not ashamed to admit that I see a psychiatrist to help regulate what is going on with me, I'm not embarrassed to admit I take an anti-depressant/anxiety medicine. These are not weaknesses, this is me showing that I am strong enough to realize when I need additional help to take care of my well-being. Please don't be afraid to do the same if you feel you need to.
Love and Gratitude---
KC<3
Monday, May 21, 2012
Getting Lost on your Path
Hi everyone!
Sorry for my slack of posting!
I guess I've kind of been in a little bit of an inspirational writing slump, for a good reason though!! Although I do still have things that cause me anxiety, I am very happy to say that I do believe I've overcomed a large part of my anxiety which was what I centered my "Overcome Yourself" phrase around before. I really can't owe it to 'Mind Gym' enough for helping me to pull myself together and get my head where it needs to be.
For the past couple of months I've really been working to turn myself into more of an inner athlete. I've been getting very big into running and healthy eating which have both contributed towards a balance in my overall well-being. I'm paying more attention, yet trying not to obsess over my injuries/aches/pains as a result of my increased physical activity, but I am making sure that I do not push myself past my physical boundaries.
I think that becoming more involved and picking up extra hobbies and interests has also helped me to redirect my thoughts and focus more on the things I want to see myself doing. In case you have missed it, Instagram is developing to be a huge social/photo networking site. I'm sure there's a certain name for that stuff, but I can't recall it off the top of my head. Instagram, along with the awesomeness of the mega-pixels of my iPhone, have allowed me to experiment more with photography which I have always had an interest in, but never the tools that make it so easy. I've got Adobe PhotoShop 7.0 installed on my computer but, if you have ever used it, you know how overwhelming and complicated it can be to understand at first.
I can't get over how great of a day I had yesterday, for the smallest of reasons too. I started my day off in the Southwest suburbs of Chicago and worked my way up to the Northwest suburbs where I did some shopping and randomly thought about one of my best guy friends in the area and chatted and grabbed dinner with him. Overall, I couldn't have asked for much more to have gone well with my trip yesterday! For one, I got to see a great friend, secondly, my CHICAGO WHITE SOX SWEPT THE CUBBIES!!! (Sorry Cubs fan readers!) and third, I really just enjoy the time alone, I love to drive aimlessly and go wherever my little heart pleases, I love to get lost and discover the parts of Illinois that I may never see, I love finding my way back home with no directions and just ending up wherever I do along the way. I guess that's comparable to life right? Sometimes you find yourself traveling in the direction that you did not intend to go. You don't know where to road is going to take you, but you keep going on it until you are able to gain your sense of direction and get yourself back on the right path. Once your on that path again, unexpected detours or SERIOUSLY, bends in roads (that almost take you to Wisconsin, oops!) may come up. They might seem scary and you might look at it as being a longgggg way from home and from the path that you had originally wanted to be on, but you just go with it anyway. Eventually, maybe it took much longer than expected, you will find yourself back on a familiar path. Sometimes we have to go without a direction and it is up to ourselves to do what we will with what we are given. We may ask for help along the way, we may call up a parent or friend for directions or we may just keep going at it alone. Whatever option you choose to get back on the right track is what you need to do. Don't be afraid to ask for help when your lost, we've all done it. If you are lost and alone, and choose to find your way by yourself, just sit back and enjoy the ride, turn up the music and enjoy the scenery along the way, you may be there awhile but its a ride worth taking. Try to turn the negatives of your lost journey into positives! You can think about where you are, where you are going, and how you need to get there. It is a great time to refocus and take time to yourself to see where you are and what the world has to offer you!
HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!
Until next time----
KC<3
Sorry for my slack of posting!
I guess I've kind of been in a little bit of an inspirational writing slump, for a good reason though!! Although I do still have things that cause me anxiety, I am very happy to say that I do believe I've overcomed a large part of my anxiety which was what I centered my "Overcome Yourself" phrase around before. I really can't owe it to 'Mind Gym' enough for helping me to pull myself together and get my head where it needs to be.
For the past couple of months I've really been working to turn myself into more of an inner athlete. I've been getting very big into running and healthy eating which have both contributed towards a balance in my overall well-being. I'm paying more attention, yet trying not to obsess over my injuries/aches/pains as a result of my increased physical activity, but I am making sure that I do not push myself past my physical boundaries.
I think that becoming more involved and picking up extra hobbies and interests has also helped me to redirect my thoughts and focus more on the things I want to see myself doing. In case you have missed it, Instagram is developing to be a huge social/photo networking site. I'm sure there's a certain name for that stuff, but I can't recall it off the top of my head. Instagram, along with the awesomeness of the mega-pixels of my iPhone, have allowed me to experiment more with photography which I have always had an interest in, but never the tools that make it so easy. I've got Adobe PhotoShop 7.0 installed on my computer but, if you have ever used it, you know how overwhelming and complicated it can be to understand at first.
I can't get over how great of a day I had yesterday, for the smallest of reasons too. I started my day off in the Southwest suburbs of Chicago and worked my way up to the Northwest suburbs where I did some shopping and randomly thought about one of my best guy friends in the area and chatted and grabbed dinner with him. Overall, I couldn't have asked for much more to have gone well with my trip yesterday! For one, I got to see a great friend, secondly, my CHICAGO WHITE SOX SWEPT THE CUBBIES!!! (Sorry Cubs fan readers!) and third, I really just enjoy the time alone, I love to drive aimlessly and go wherever my little heart pleases, I love to get lost and discover the parts of Illinois that I may never see, I love finding my way back home with no directions and just ending up wherever I do along the way. I guess that's comparable to life right? Sometimes you find yourself traveling in the direction that you did not intend to go. You don't know where to road is going to take you, but you keep going on it until you are able to gain your sense of direction and get yourself back on the right path. Once your on that path again, unexpected detours or SERIOUSLY, bends in roads (that almost take you to Wisconsin, oops!) may come up. They might seem scary and you might look at it as being a longgggg way from home and from the path that you had originally wanted to be on, but you just go with it anyway. Eventually, maybe it took much longer than expected, you will find yourself back on a familiar path. Sometimes we have to go without a direction and it is up to ourselves to do what we will with what we are given. We may ask for help along the way, we may call up a parent or friend for directions or we may just keep going at it alone. Whatever option you choose to get back on the right track is what you need to do. Don't be afraid to ask for help when your lost, we've all done it. If you are lost and alone, and choose to find your way by yourself, just sit back and enjoy the ride, turn up the music and enjoy the scenery along the way, you may be there awhile but its a ride worth taking. Try to turn the negatives of your lost journey into positives! You can think about where you are, where you are going, and how you need to get there. It is a great time to refocus and take time to yourself to see where you are and what the world has to offer you!
HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!
Until next time----
KC<3
Monday, May 14, 2012
YOU Are Your Own Happiness, Your Relationship is NOT!
Hi guys!
Sorry I've been M.I.A. for so long! Finals are finally over and guess who kicked some butt on them? This girl! 3 A's and 2 B's. I worked sooo hard to study and get a B in one of the classes because I was border line B/C and I knew I was not going to settle for that and it was also a very important class to me for many reasons! Anyway, I am soooo happy and proud to say that I made it through my first year of Physical Therapy school! It's simply amazing, I have been working at this for so long and to actually see that my hard work is paying off and making progress is just beautiful! I have 2 more years of schooling left and I know it is going to fly by just as quickly. I can not wait to be out in the real world and actually applying what I have learned in my education to help others! I feel like I have become so much smarter in every aspect, I have been through the best and worst of times throughout the course of these past 5 years but I have rolled with the punches and I have stayed strong because I know where my focuses are and I will not lose sight of them!
Workouts have not been going so well. Aside from finals or work consuming my every free moment last week, I also went for a nice long run last Monday and to add to it we were practicing LE (lower extremity) testing on each other for a final, and I think I just pushed myself to hard, and also... in addition to a little tumble I had a few weeks ago in which I hurt my hip (iliopsoas) my body ended up just HATING me after my run. I took the rest of the week off due to the inability to walk (min. dorsiflexion) without pain in my left calf. I spent the entire week just icing, resting, elevating, and applying icy hot to my gastroc. I'm feeling much much much better this week, I have been seeing the chiropractor and he was able to stretch out my psoas for me and did some US on my calf which I believe benefited me greatly. I'm just in the dumps over it right now because not only am I packing on some weight.. but I- LOVE- TO- WORK-OUT/ RUN/ BE ACTIVE...soooo, when your hurt and you study this stuff everyday and you know about the kinetic chain and how a problem in one place may lead to problems else where to compensate... you reallllllyyy need to listen to your mind and what you know about healing and just trust yourself. You can't push your body past its limits, the body takes time to heal and you must be willing to let it do so!
So I'm really happy to say that I'm still doing really well on maintaining a positive perspective on my life, despite my small injuries! I am still on the right path and am trying very hard to acknowledge the negative influences in my life that will set back the personal progress that I am working to achieve.
One thing that I kind of had an "Ahhh-HA" moment about, which y'all may think I'm absolutely crazy for realizing and pointing out now, so feel free to shake your head and just say "Wow Kristin, you JUST realized this now???!!" But what I'm coming to terms with is that fact that YOU need to make yourself happy and not let other people influence your happiness. For so soo long I have just installed this idea in my mind that I need a boyfriend to complete my happiness, but truth is, you can't make someone else happy before you can make yourself happy. Very clique and heard of many many times, so I'm about 300 years too late for a copyright on that one! But honestly! Whether it be a boyfriend, a friend, a parent, a co-worker, a teacher or a counselor, whoever it may be... you cannot let them be in control of your happiness. One- they are not always going to be there for you, and what happens when they are not? You can not relapse and wonder how you are going to carry on and be happy now. They were in your life for a reason, and yes, they made you happy while they were there with the memories that you had established with them and the support, comfort, security, and love that they provided while they were there; however, they may have made you happy, but think about life before them or while they were not around. Were you happy still? Hopefully the answer is yes! I went through a really disappointing and miserable time for awhile over a break up. I sometimes sit and dread over it and like to make myself miserable by thinking about how I was so happy in it and where things went wrong and wished things would have turned out different. I always remind myself of how perfect everything seemed to be [problem #21234245....nothing is EVER perfect..and if it is.... you've got a problem...and in this case, my 'relationship' was what I had considered my real life fairytale! YIKES] I couldn't have asked for it all to work out any more perfectly, it was the life I could have seen myself living with a person I thought I could see myself being content with the rest of my life, but I was wrong. When you build up something too much too soon, your walls are often times than not destined to come crumbling down on you, especially when you believe that this person completes your ring of happiness. Your ring of happiness is completed SOLELY by YOU, not by someone else, don't ever let a good, temporary situation make you believe that it was what you needed to be absolutely happy.
I came up with a quote that is helping me to maintain the right path every time I think to look back at that relationship and say that it was what I needed to make me happy...... "I'm slowly learning that it's more important consider what you deserve over what you simply just want." In the case of that relationship, I was heartbroken over how it ended because I put it on a golden pedestal. Gold is always nice, but sometimes gold loses its value and does shine so bright anymore. Who doesn't want gold, or diamonds or something of high value? It's "really great" and others look at you with envy and wish they had the same and wonder how you got it and how they can get it. Gold looks great from the outside, but when it comes down to it, is gold what you really deserve or is it just what you really want? What about having millions and millions of penny's [a little unrealistic, but just go with it! ;) ] These ugly little copper coins have no value to anyone, we just pass them up on the street or toss them into a lake or fountain without second thought. These little penny's, if collected, could add up to one big reward of which you deserve. It might not look so great while its lying there, worn, and eroded on the road, however, the little things are what will add up and eventually make you happy. My point is, don't pass up the small things, such as the penny's, that come across your path; they may actually lead you to the same place that those diamonds or gold would have. Don't let the gold be the determinant of your happiness, your happiness is in fact, YOUR happiness, don't lose sight and get caught up in what you think you need to make you happy.
G'night everyone!
BTW, check out my Twitter... its easier to keep up with me on there for those days that I get to be too busy to update my blog!
--------> kCull_4
I also promised you a picture that I took earlier when I posted my blog this afternoon, so here it is.....
This is where I was hoping to post my entire blog from today, but I was running short on time, but it was a B-E-A-UTIFUL day out in Chicago today!! I cannnnnoooottttt hardly wait to move up there and live my life! 2 years, 2 years, 2 years!!! :)
G'night lovers!
<3
KC
Sorry I've been M.I.A. for so long! Finals are finally over and guess who kicked some butt on them? This girl! 3 A's and 2 B's. I worked sooo hard to study and get a B in one of the classes because I was border line B/C and I knew I was not going to settle for that and it was also a very important class to me for many reasons! Anyway, I am soooo happy and proud to say that I made it through my first year of Physical Therapy school! It's simply amazing, I have been working at this for so long and to actually see that my hard work is paying off and making progress is just beautiful! I have 2 more years of schooling left and I know it is going to fly by just as quickly. I can not wait to be out in the real world and actually applying what I have learned in my education to help others! I feel like I have become so much smarter in every aspect, I have been through the best and worst of times throughout the course of these past 5 years but I have rolled with the punches and I have stayed strong because I know where my focuses are and I will not lose sight of them!
Workouts have not been going so well. Aside from finals or work consuming my every free moment last week, I also went for a nice long run last Monday and to add to it we were practicing LE (lower extremity) testing on each other for a final, and I think I just pushed myself to hard, and also... in addition to a little tumble I had a few weeks ago in which I hurt my hip (iliopsoas) my body ended up just HATING me after my run. I took the rest of the week off due to the inability to walk (min. dorsiflexion) without pain in my left calf. I spent the entire week just icing, resting, elevating, and applying icy hot to my gastroc. I'm feeling much much much better this week, I have been seeing the chiropractor and he was able to stretch out my psoas for me and did some US on my calf which I believe benefited me greatly. I'm just in the dumps over it right now because not only am I packing on some weight.. but I- LOVE- TO- WORK-OUT/ RUN/ BE ACTIVE...soooo, when your hurt and you study this stuff everyday and you know about the kinetic chain and how a problem in one place may lead to problems else where to compensate... you reallllllyyy need to listen to your mind and what you know about healing and just trust yourself. You can't push your body past its limits, the body takes time to heal and you must be willing to let it do so!
So I'm really happy to say that I'm still doing really well on maintaining a positive perspective on my life, despite my small injuries! I am still on the right path and am trying very hard to acknowledge the negative influences in my life that will set back the personal progress that I am working to achieve.
One thing that I kind of had an "Ahhh-HA" moment about, which y'all may think I'm absolutely crazy for realizing and pointing out now, so feel free to shake your head and just say "Wow Kristin, you JUST realized this now???!!" But what I'm coming to terms with is that fact that YOU need to make yourself happy and not let other people influence your happiness. For so soo long I have just installed this idea in my mind that I need a boyfriend to complete my happiness, but truth is, you can't make someone else happy before you can make yourself happy. Very clique and heard of many many times, so I'm about 300 years too late for a copyright on that one! But honestly! Whether it be a boyfriend, a friend, a parent, a co-worker, a teacher or a counselor, whoever it may be... you cannot let them be in control of your happiness. One- they are not always going to be there for you, and what happens when they are not? You can not relapse and wonder how you are going to carry on and be happy now. They were in your life for a reason, and yes, they made you happy while they were there with the memories that you had established with them and the support, comfort, security, and love that they provided while they were there; however, they may have made you happy, but think about life before them or while they were not around. Were you happy still? Hopefully the answer is yes! I went through a really disappointing and miserable time for awhile over a break up. I sometimes sit and dread over it and like to make myself miserable by thinking about how I was so happy in it and where things went wrong and wished things would have turned out different. I always remind myself of how perfect everything seemed to be [problem #21234245....nothing is EVER perfect..and if it is.... you've got a problem...and in this case, my 'relationship' was what I had considered my real life fairytale! YIKES] I couldn't have asked for it all to work out any more perfectly, it was the life I could have seen myself living with a person I thought I could see myself being content with the rest of my life, but I was wrong. When you build up something too much too soon, your walls are often times than not destined to come crumbling down on you, especially when you believe that this person completes your ring of happiness. Your ring of happiness is completed SOLELY by YOU, not by someone else, don't ever let a good, temporary situation make you believe that it was what you needed to be absolutely happy.
I came up with a quote that is helping me to maintain the right path every time I think to look back at that relationship and say that it was what I needed to make me happy...... "I'm slowly learning that it's more important consider what you deserve over what you simply just want." In the case of that relationship, I was heartbroken over how it ended because I put it on a golden pedestal. Gold is always nice, but sometimes gold loses its value and does shine so bright anymore. Who doesn't want gold, or diamonds or something of high value? It's "really great" and others look at you with envy and wish they had the same and wonder how you got it and how they can get it. Gold looks great from the outside, but when it comes down to it, is gold what you really deserve or is it just what you really want? What about having millions and millions of penny's [a little unrealistic, but just go with it! ;) ] These ugly little copper coins have no value to anyone, we just pass them up on the street or toss them into a lake or fountain without second thought. These little penny's, if collected, could add up to one big reward of which you deserve. It might not look so great while its lying there, worn, and eroded on the road, however, the little things are what will add up and eventually make you happy. My point is, don't pass up the small things, such as the penny's, that come across your path; they may actually lead you to the same place that those diamonds or gold would have. Don't let the gold be the determinant of your happiness, your happiness is in fact, YOUR happiness, don't lose sight and get caught up in what you think you need to make you happy.
G'night everyone!
BTW, check out my Twitter... its easier to keep up with me on there for those days that I get to be too busy to update my blog!
--------> kCull_4
I also promised you a picture that I took earlier when I posted my blog this afternoon, so here it is.....
This is where I was hoping to post my entire blog from today, but I was running short on time, but it was a B-E-A-UTIFUL day out in Chicago today!! I cannnnnoooottttt hardly wait to move up there and live my life! 2 years, 2 years, 2 years!!! :)
G'night lovers!
<3
KC
I wish I could stay in this spot forever.
Hey guys!
I'm hanging out and enjoying the day up here in Chicago! It is beyond a beautiful day out and I wish you could enjoy the view with me that I have right now as I write this, I'll attach a picture later.
I need to make this post rather quickly because I need to head down to my appt with my rheumatologist that is at 2pm and lord knows it'll take me forever to get there with the city driving!!
I just wanted to let you know that I WILL update tonight with a post and share some things I've came to realize and experienced over the course of the past 2 weeks. Can't wait to update and I'll do it ASAP!
Hope you all enjoy this beautiful Monday!
<3
KC
Sunday, May 13, 2012
I'm back!!
Hey everyone!
Finals are over and I'm finally ready to start blogging again! I'm sorry for my absence but in that time I came up with some really great things that I can't wait to share! Hope you all have been doing great and I hope those of you that I lost over my week long break wil be joining me again!!
Im spending mother's day with my mother and grandmother right now though so I will be sure to update later tonight!
Happy mothers day to you all and I hope you are enjoying the beautiful day wherever you may be!!
With much gratitude!
KC<3
Friday, May 4, 2012
Climbing the Financial Mountain
Hi everyone!
Sooo this is my exciting Friday night! Honestly though, I do love the down time. It's been a crazy past 2 weeks of final exams and I still have ALL of next week to look forward to as well. All of next week means:
I realized tonight how much summer school, for TWO ONLINE classes is going to cost me. Approximately $2,100. YIKES! I wish I could say I knew how the heck I'm going to afford this, considering financial aid from this past year was fully consumed for the past 2 semesters of tuition + living + health expenses. Yes, budgeting may have helped me to land myself in a better position than I find myself in at this point; however, it's just unfortunate that the worry for needing to know how to pay for school is a problem. I'm trying to keep my cool and not get worked up about it because I know it will all work out some how, but it just stinks soo much that getting an education has to cost so much. I REALLLLLY don't want to get into politics within my blog because that's not what I want to write about, and I know many people have different views on issues within politics, but my blog is something that we have in common and I'm glad you keep following it for whatever reason you do! <3 (Thank you!!!!)
I guess considering the cost of education and the sacrifices I am making along the way to obtain it; I am ultimately grateful for the ups and downs of the financial situation. I come from your typical middle, working class family. Throughout my entire life I have seen the financial burdens that my parents have endured.
I've seen a lot of problems that stemmed from the financial burdens that my family has been exposed to, but you know what else I have seen?
I know that I want to pursue a graduate degree in Physical Therapy because; although my parents struggles were actually **~blessings in disguise~**, I don't want my children to be 9 years old and have to know what the phrase "making ends meet" means. OF COURSE this is not the only reason I am doing physical therapy. I love and value helping others and feel like physical therapy is such an amazing way to do so; what better feeling can you REALLY, truly feel than when you help an individual start walking or running again after they have been told they may never stand again on their own?
Realizing my current financial situation with summer school and the large amount of student/parent loan debt I, and my parents have acquired over the years and continue to rack up, I know that I am still blessed. When I started this post, I was still quite upset and anxious about the whole money situation. As I wrote this, and as I now sit here typing, I continue to acknowledge that money or the lack there of, has brought me to where I am today. Money may be tight and free/'me' time may be tight as well, but it is tight for a good reason. I have a goal that I am working towards, and in approx. 2 years from this date I will be walking across a stage with a diploma in my hand and I will be on my way to making money doing what I love.
I am a student, I am wise, I am determined, I am a hard worker, I am growing, I am learning, I am accepting, I am motivated and I will remained focused despite the obstacles that are thrown my way.
HOW do I keep doing it? And WHY do I do it?
THIS IS WHY-- AND THIS IS MY GOAL AND MY PASSION :
Adam Taliaferro: an AMAZING video! Please check it out! <3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soOuzLs3CRY
(Also, check out 'Miracle in the Making' by Brown, S & Carchidi, S...it is the book about Adam Taliaferro's journey= FANTASTIC STORY!)
Thank you all so much for reading--
KC<3
Sooo this is my exciting Friday night! Honestly though, I do love the down time. It's been a crazy past 2 weeks of final exams and I still have ALL of next week to look forward to as well. All of next week means:
- Monday- 1 final practical on level surface crutches, walker, cane training
- Tuesday- 1 MAJOR final lab practical over the lower extremity, then work overnight from 330-Wednesday AM
- Wednesday- work for a different family from 930am-430pm
- Thursday- Lab Practical over stair training for crutches, walker, and cane, then 2 lecture practicals back to back starting at 300 and finally ending at 730 pm
- Friday- lecture practical at 1 pm.
I realized tonight how much summer school, for TWO ONLINE classes is going to cost me. Approximately $2,100. YIKES! I wish I could say I knew how the heck I'm going to afford this, considering financial aid from this past year was fully consumed for the past 2 semesters of tuition + living + health expenses. Yes, budgeting may have helped me to land myself in a better position than I find myself in at this point; however, it's just unfortunate that the worry for needing to know how to pay for school is a problem. I'm trying to keep my cool and not get worked up about it because I know it will all work out some how, but it just stinks soo much that getting an education has to cost so much. I REALLLLLY don't want to get into politics within my blog because that's not what I want to write about, and I know many people have different views on issues within politics, but my blog is something that we have in common and I'm glad you keep following it for whatever reason you do! <3 (Thank you!!!!)
I guess considering the cost of education and the sacrifices I am making along the way to obtain it; I am ultimately grateful for the ups and downs of the financial situation. I come from your typical middle, working class family. Throughout my entire life I have seen the financial burdens that my parents have endured.
- I've seen my family living week to week on their paychecks
- I've seen my parents argue about expenses and how to pay bills
- I've seen my parents sharing 1 car between the two of them several times for months or years at a time.
- I've seen my friends driving their brand new cars they got when they turned 16 while I still got dropped off at school by my parents until I was 19 years old.
- I've seen my dad lose his job that he held for over 20 years and result in accepting a job that pays less than the $12 p/hr that I now make babysitting
I've seen a lot of problems that stemmed from the financial burdens that my family has been exposed to, but you know what else I have seen?
- I've seen my parents sacrifice their hard earned money to send my brother and I to a Catholic grade school so that we didn't have to attend the local public school with a poor education system
- I've seen the Grand Canyon, Sedona, AZ(beautiful!!), Disney World, New York City, the oceans, the mountains, the country's interstates from coast to coast
- I've seen the memories that I've retained from each of these trips that required months and months of my parents saving up for so that we could them.
- I've seen my mom working as a social worker that makes $30,000 at best and be happy and content with her job because she loves what she does despite the lack of income.
- I've seen my parents continually try to provide the best for our family despite other financial obligations
- I've seen the money that my parents took out of their paychecks to save up and establish a college funds savings account for my brother and I both.
- I've seen the individual that I've become through my work ethic and determination as a result of the financial struggles that I've lived through.
I know that I want to pursue a graduate degree in Physical Therapy because; although my parents struggles were actually **~blessings in disguise~**, I don't want my children to be 9 years old and have to know what the phrase "making ends meet" means. OF COURSE this is not the only reason I am doing physical therapy. I love and value helping others and feel like physical therapy is such an amazing way to do so; what better feeling can you REALLY, truly feel than when you help an individual start walking or running again after they have been told they may never stand again on their own?
Realizing my current financial situation with summer school and the large amount of student/parent loan debt I, and my parents have acquired over the years and continue to rack up, I know that I am still blessed. When I started this post, I was still quite upset and anxious about the whole money situation. As I wrote this, and as I now sit here typing, I continue to acknowledge that money or the lack there of, has brought me to where I am today. Money may be tight and free/'me' time may be tight as well, but it is tight for a good reason. I have a goal that I am working towards, and in approx. 2 years from this date I will be walking across a stage with a diploma in my hand and I will be on my way to making money doing what I love.
I am a student, I am wise, I am determined, I am a hard worker, I am growing, I am learning, I am accepting, I am motivated and I will remained focused despite the obstacles that are thrown my way.
HOW do I keep doing it? And WHY do I do it?
THIS IS WHY-- AND THIS IS MY GOAL AND MY PASSION :
Adam Taliaferro: an AMAZING video! Please check it out! <3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soOuzLs3CRY
(Also, check out 'Miracle in the Making' by Brown, S & Carchidi, S...it is the book about Adam Taliaferro's journey= FANTASTIC STORY!)
Thank you all so much for reading--
KC<3
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
How to Control Your Own Success
[I meant to post this yesterday but my internet is not working right so I couldn't publish it, so consider this yesterdays post! :) ]
-------------------------------------
Hi All!!
I was thinking to myself today after
completing a very important final exam. I studied my butt off for it..of
course I could have studied much much harder and for days on end to guarantee
that I would ace it, however I did not. I studied hard, yet I still
managed to maintain my sanity.
So come on, who doesn't love acing a
test? It gives you a great sense of accomplishment and pride and a 'nice
standing' amongst others that you may have scored higher than. I did not
ace this test, and this is a-okay with me. I am not salty about it, nor am I
trying to make myself feel better about it. Typically in this class I
start studying for the test too soon to the day of the exam, I spend countless
hours trying to cram in all the information at the last minute, and then I end
up staying up till 3am studying for it the night before and wake up at 7 am to
resume last minute studying. This is probably the worst way to go about
studying for an exam. Your brain and your body are fighting each other
and I know first hand that it typically plays out in your performance.
This is all besides the point
though, today as I was walking down to campus I thought about how I did
on that test and I was happy. Yes, maybe my grade wasn't the highest in
the class, and frankly, who cares? I my pride comes from that fact that I
studied much further in advance for this test, I went to bed at a decent time
without worrying about how much information I still needed to know, and I woke
up in the morning, refreshed and ready to take on the test. I am
satisfied with my grade because to me, it is a reflection of my personal
growth. My main objective on this test was to score a higher grade than
my last test in this class, and I did! This, to me, is much more
important that trying to be 'the smartest person in the class,' my goal to
outscore my self is just another step taken in overcoming myself.
Don't compare yourself to others,
you are your own determinant of your success. Do you want to continuously
compare yourself to others? Not everyone has the same goals; your goals
will vary greatly in how much value is placed on them compared to the person
next to you. If one 'bad thing' happens such as not receiving the test grade
you tried so hard for, or if you worked your butt off only to fall short of
your target; do not become discouraged or take it out on yourself. One of
my favorite quotes helps me to explain my point-----
"There is no such
thing as failure, there is only success and quitting, and I'm not a
quitter."
This quote is fantastic, however, it really
makes you think. This is how I think about it, and I hope you can do the
same. There really is no such thing as failure, failure does not
exist. Before I give you the 'official' definition of failure, let me
tell you what I think "failure" is. The WORD 'failure' is a
negative title/description given to the inability
to achieve a desired outcome. Now, the actual definition of failure that
is given on the internet from thefreedictionary.com:
Failure:
1. The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or
ends: the failure of an experiment.
2. One that fails: a failure at one's career.
3. The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling
short: a crop failure.
4. A cessation of proper functioning or performance: a power failure.
5. Nonperformance of what is requested or expected; omission:
failure to report a change of address.
6. The act or fact of failing to pass a course, test, or
assignment.
7. A decline in strength or effectiveness.
8. The act or fact of becoming bankrupt or insolvent.
UMM, okay, **cough*pessimist!!*cough**
So apparentlyyyyy, failure results
because you fail at your career, you fall short, your ineffective, you lack
strength, you can't achieve success in school/work/money/life, and because you
lack power.
I want to explain to you how this is
completely inaccurate, from an optimistic standpoint! I believe that
failure does not exist. As the quote states, there is success, and there
is quitting. No matter how hard you attempted to make the team, or get a
grade, or whatever the case may be, if you NEVER gave up on trying the entire
time, you NEVER quit giving your every effort. This in itself is --PURE
SUCCESS!!-- Now, if you just sell yourself short and just give up and
don't make your goal, you did not fail, you just quit trying. I had this
discussion with someone awhile ago and explained what this quote means and how
failure really doesn't exist, which he believed opposite. He brought up a
scenario-- "What about a football player that practices and practices to
try and make it to the NFL but doesn't make it?" EASY answer!--- did he
ever quit trying? NO! He may not have made it to the NFL but he still never
gave up. Although the individual did not meet his final goal, he kept
trying and practicing to achieve the success he wished to achieve. In my
opinion, you are successful until you quit. My response to this
individual about his NFL scenario was that, earlier that day I had a lab
practical that I practiced and practiced and studied my brains out for, and
what did I end up getting on it? I got a 17.5/20, (lowest possible before
a retake is necessary is a 16/20). I explained to him that although
I didn't get a 19/20 on it like I would have loved for the amount of studying I
put in, I was still happy with my grade, I achieved my own personal success
because I could have given up and quit studying many times, but I
didn't. I studied up until the minute I walked into the practical
examination room and went in there and performed the best that I could. ----
This is what fuels me and motivates me to accomplish my goals. I NEVER
give up, no matter how many demands are placed on me or no matter how difficult
the task.
Another point this individual made
me realize is when I was asked, "Do you like to win? Or do you just not
like to lose?" I had to think about it, and I realized that I really
just don't like to lose. Winning, is very similar to placing the highest
in the class on a test, you are only first, but what more than that have you
really truly accomplished on the inside?
I don't know for certain; however, I
believe that to those who constantly win, the
sense of accomplishment isn't as great for those who don't always come in
first, but refuse to finish last.
I will leave you on that note for
the night, think hard about it and examine your own self, where do you fall,
what do you believe to be true about these quotes? I'd love to hear your input
and how it applies to your life!!
G'night world, sleep tight! <3
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
KC<3
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Making Your Negatives Your Positives
Good Morning World!
Happy Sunday!! I'm happy to be writing you all this morning, I know I've been slacking off a bit so this is a good time for me to set some time aside before I start my day and write to you!
Last time I really posted I had mentioned that I was slowly trying to take myself off my anxiety medicine. I wish I could say that I was still off of it; however, I do still need it and have just been trying to take it once a day or as needed (situational, as I'll discuss.) This seems to work best for me for the time being.
I wish I could stand here and be the strong person that can say, "Hey! I've been able to overcome my anxiety and myself, I don't need to take my medicine anymore!" Although there are situations that I feel like I've helped myself to overcome, at the same time I do still have to work through some more issues still. I believe that I have made great progress in working through a major part of my anxiety, and that was the overcoming myself. I focus less on worrying about my competency amongst others, I feel that I no longer doubt myself in what I believe I am able to achieve as an individual, and I feel as though I have been able to be more at peace with who I am and where I am in my life.
As I've said many times before, it is all about baby steps. Going from taking my anxiety medicine three times a day to only once a day is really a big step in itself. I know that for one, you are not suppose to go cold turkey on your medicine, which I have done once before when my prescription ran out, and where did it land me? Yup, the ER. This is where I am still battling my anxiety, I almost feel as if I have a heightened sense of pain perception. Does anybody else ever feel this way? This is the part of my anxiety that I am working hard to overcome because I believe it is a main source of it. My aches and pains seem to be so frequent and I have the strangest symptoms, some that I can actually see, such as my swollen, stiff fingers after a run or in the mornings, and some that I feel but cannot see such as the feeling of losing my sense of proprioception while running, the sharp prickling pain in my leg that would hurt just to place it down on a chair, or the feeling of not being able to open my mouth (heavy/locked jaw type of feeling.) There's many more health related problems I feel, and of course they tend to set me off into a spiral of anxiety, and that is when my medicine is essential. Although it REALLY sucks that I am a hypochondriac and believe I have one health problem after another, it does make me realize how much I love and value my life. I wouldn't be so concerned about that thought that I have some disease or illness that will end my life short or limit my functioning if I wasn't aware of that fact that I am blessed with such a great life and future that I have planned for myself.
I must have jinxed myself after writing about the importance of getting an adequate amount of sleep each night because since doing so, my bed time turned into about 2:30 or 3:00 am every night and having to wake up at 7:30 or 8:00 am to start my day. That has been a big pain in my butt, I need to get back on track with my sleep schedule pronto...especially with all my finals coming up. During times of heavy course work (midterms/finals) along with managing outside priorities, I usually tend to see that my anxiety gets crazy on me. This only strengthens my argument that sleep is a main contributor to maintaining homeostasis [DUH, Kristin!!] Since I have been busy with school and work, I've also stopped working out and reading 'Mind Gym' as much. Two huge influences in helping me to keep my head in the right spot. Working out everyday again needs to be reestablished ASAP and returning to reading my book will resume after finals are over: PRIORITIES!
I do not believe that continuing to work through my anxiety is a problem; I have been able to open up and hopefully relate to and help all of you through blogging, I've been able to meet and interact with really great and insightful individuals, and on a personal level it has allowed me to work on the parts of my life that I believe need improvement. By examining the influences in my life that allow my anxiety to start to become out of hand, such as lacking sleep, exercising less, adding too many priorities to a specific time frame, and worrying about things that are beyond my control, I am able to acknowledge these negatives and turn them into positives.
Making a positive change to your life, no matter how big or small, is still a positive step in the right direction. You have acknowledged and accepted that things that you need to work on and that is a very important step. Everything takes time, don't expect that today's problems will be gone tomorrow. As your problems 'grow' smaller, you will grow stronger as an individual. The pride you feel by your accomplishing your goals is one of the best feelings, do not sell yourself short and quit before you achieve the success you wish to see. Remember, nothing worth having ever came easy.
Tomorrow is the day I meet with the psychiatrist, I'm anxious to see what he/she has to say, but I'm not quite sure I want to start any new medicines (if needed) during finals week, notttt the best idea! I'll be sure to keep you all posted on my appointment!
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
Happy Sunday!! I'm happy to be writing you all this morning, I know I've been slacking off a bit so this is a good time for me to set some time aside before I start my day and write to you!
Last time I really posted I had mentioned that I was slowly trying to take myself off my anxiety medicine. I wish I could say that I was still off of it; however, I do still need it and have just been trying to take it once a day or as needed (situational, as I'll discuss.) This seems to work best for me for the time being.
I wish I could stand here and be the strong person that can say, "Hey! I've been able to overcome my anxiety and myself, I don't need to take my medicine anymore!" Although there are situations that I feel like I've helped myself to overcome, at the same time I do still have to work through some more issues still. I believe that I have made great progress in working through a major part of my anxiety, and that was the overcoming myself. I focus less on worrying about my competency amongst others, I feel that I no longer doubt myself in what I believe I am able to achieve as an individual, and I feel as though I have been able to be more at peace with who I am and where I am in my life.
As I've said many times before, it is all about baby steps. Going from taking my anxiety medicine three times a day to only once a day is really a big step in itself. I know that for one, you are not suppose to go cold turkey on your medicine, which I have done once before when my prescription ran out, and where did it land me? Yup, the ER. This is where I am still battling my anxiety, I almost feel as if I have a heightened sense of pain perception. Does anybody else ever feel this way? This is the part of my anxiety that I am working hard to overcome because I believe it is a main source of it. My aches and pains seem to be so frequent and I have the strangest symptoms, some that I can actually see, such as my swollen, stiff fingers after a run or in the mornings, and some that I feel but cannot see such as the feeling of losing my sense of proprioception while running, the sharp prickling pain in my leg that would hurt just to place it down on a chair, or the feeling of not being able to open my mouth (heavy/locked jaw type of feeling.) There's many more health related problems I feel, and of course they tend to set me off into a spiral of anxiety, and that is when my medicine is essential. Although it REALLY sucks that I am a hypochondriac and believe I have one health problem after another, it does make me realize how much I love and value my life. I wouldn't be so concerned about that thought that I have some disease or illness that will end my life short or limit my functioning if I wasn't aware of that fact that I am blessed with such a great life and future that I have planned for myself.
I must have jinxed myself after writing about the importance of getting an adequate amount of sleep each night because since doing so, my bed time turned into about 2:30 or 3:00 am every night and having to wake up at 7:30 or 8:00 am to start my day. That has been a big pain in my butt, I need to get back on track with my sleep schedule pronto...especially with all my finals coming up. During times of heavy course work (midterms/finals) along with managing outside priorities, I usually tend to see that my anxiety gets crazy on me. This only strengthens my argument that sleep is a main contributor to maintaining homeostasis [DUH, Kristin!!] Since I have been busy with school and work, I've also stopped working out and reading 'Mind Gym' as much. Two huge influences in helping me to keep my head in the right spot. Working out everyday again needs to be reestablished ASAP and returning to reading my book will resume after finals are over: PRIORITIES!
I do not believe that continuing to work through my anxiety is a problem; I have been able to open up and hopefully relate to and help all of you through blogging, I've been able to meet and interact with really great and insightful individuals, and on a personal level it has allowed me to work on the parts of my life that I believe need improvement. By examining the influences in my life that allow my anxiety to start to become out of hand, such as lacking sleep, exercising less, adding too many priorities to a specific time frame, and worrying about things that are beyond my control, I am able to acknowledge these negatives and turn them into positives.
Making a positive change to your life, no matter how big or small, is still a positive step in the right direction. You have acknowledged and accepted that things that you need to work on and that is a very important step. Everything takes time, don't expect that today's problems will be gone tomorrow. As your problems 'grow' smaller, you will grow stronger as an individual. The pride you feel by your accomplishing your goals is one of the best feelings, do not sell yourself short and quit before you achieve the success you wish to see. Remember, nothing worth having ever came easy.
Tomorrow is the day I meet with the psychiatrist, I'm anxious to see what he/she has to say, but I'm not quite sure I want to start any new medicines (if needed) during finals week, notttt the best idea! I'll be sure to keep you all posted on my appointment!
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Can there be more time in the day?
Hey guys!
I said I would write again late tonight and I do not like to break promises so here I am!
I thought I would have more time to write today/tonight but my day was consumed with studying and doing homework so I didn't have as much time as I thought I would. I really apologize! I want to write a meaningful post and not just half it right now due to time, so I promise promise first thing tomorrow I will update! It's kind of been a rough week, a bit of an anxiety roller coaster (as you may have anticipated when I wrote that I was weaning myself off my anxiety medicine) sooo...I definitely need the time to write a sincere and unrushed post to explain.
I hope you are all doing great and are enjoying your weekend. Until I'm able to post more frequently and on a regular basis I encourage you to check out my Twitter since I'm able to post smaller and quicker posts there for you to keep up with!
@kCull_4
Thank you all so much for being patient with me! Please check back tomorrow and I'll be sure to have updated for you!
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
I said I would write again late tonight and I do not like to break promises so here I am!
I thought I would have more time to write today/tonight but my day was consumed with studying and doing homework so I didn't have as much time as I thought I would. I really apologize! I want to write a meaningful post and not just half it right now due to time, so I promise promise first thing tomorrow I will update! It's kind of been a rough week, a bit of an anxiety roller coaster (as you may have anticipated when I wrote that I was weaning myself off my anxiety medicine) sooo...I definitely need the time to write a sincere and unrushed post to explain.
I hope you are all doing great and are enjoying your weekend. Until I'm able to post more frequently and on a regular basis I encourage you to check out my Twitter since I'm able to post smaller and quicker posts there for you to keep up with!
@kCull_4
Thank you all so much for being patient with me! Please check back tomorrow and I'll be sure to have updated for you!
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
Apologies!
Hi everyone!
Please excuse the formatting, it gets super messy when I post from my phone, I will fix it later though!
Hope you've all had a great week!
I'm sorry I've been so terrible about blogging this week, as I forewarned, school is going to be absolutely CRAZY these next 2 weeks! I'm trying to work with the free time that I have to get in my other activities (SLEEP!, working out, blogging, keeping my sanity) along with managing my school/work time effectively!
I promise I will update more later! But thank you for hangin with me, I appreciate it!!
Wishing you a happy Saturday,
KC<3
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Missing link to this mornings post!
Hi everyone!
So I'm/my phone is really bad at posting how I want stuff posted to my blog (formatting, hyperlinks, etc) so I just now noticed that the link did not show up earlier, and correct me if I'm wrong and you could see it!
Here is the link, I'm sorry you'll have to copy and paste it in until I can master this whole blogging on my phone thing! I hope it leads you all through a great rest of your afternoon and into a relaxing evening!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JXdhHn8L65o
Positive start for your morning!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Beckham Hits a Homerun in MY Book!
Hi everyone!
I just came across a great article and wanted to share it with you and give you a little update about a major step I'm attempting to make(for better or worse!) First off, I found this link from one of my followers on Twitter, @GBeckhamNews, no affiliation to Beckham himself.
Anyway, I just really wanted to share it with you all because Beckham definitely displays the important attributes of which 'Mind Gym' speaks.
Although he is currently in a slump; he is not letting it affect his game and where he sees himself going.
I am almost at a loss for words, this article and Gordon Beckham's attitude are simply a perfect example of maintaining optimism and OVERCOMING YOURSELF! LOVE LOVE LOVE this article!!
Here is an excerpt from it that I might have to print, clip, and tape into my personal journal that I keep for myself:
----------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------
.....Amazing, right!? I feel like this is much too relatable to the small steps that I speak about in my attempts to overcome my own personal slumps.
As Beckham mentions, he has "been in this situation before" and he allowed it to get the best of him, but is not going to let it this time. I know first hand that each time I allowed my anxiety to get the best of me, I let it take control of my life and my emotions. However, now I know and am constantly taking steps in the right direction to make sure that I "don't give in". It is so important to realize the role you can play in overcoming yourself by simply maintaining that positive perspective, despite the extrinsic & intrinsic forces that we are faced with each day.
One more quote that I really loved was:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Personally, I relate to this on my own level and I find it very touching. Think about it from your own stand point; I pray that each of you are as fortunate as I am to have an understanding and patient support system. If you do not, please try to find one or you can ALWAYS email me, as well as keep following my blog, and I will be there for you as much as I can! The point I want to make is: somewhere out there someone understands what you are going through and they will be patient and help you see your way through it.
As Ventura was once in Beckham's shoes, he understands and is able to see the potential that he(Beckham) possesses, despite his slump. I have several of these individuals in my life, but one that I can almost exactly relate this Ventura-Beckham excerpt to. You know who you are, and I just want to thank you again for believing in my potential, being understanding time after time, and in helping me to work past my anxiety so I can be the individual that I know I really am.
It's getting late and I know that getting adequate sleep each night is vital to mental and emotional health, and I don't want to fall into the 3am-730am sleep pattern again.... NOT HEALTHY!!!
So I need to wrap this up very shortly; my news that I wanted to share with you all is that I am, as I type, 24 hours past the last time I took my medicine for my anxiety!!!! I have been trying to slowly wean myself off of it (.25 mg, tid) in anticipation/hopes that I will be able to manage my anxiety on my own without the use of medicine. Back at the beginning of March when my anxiety was at its peak, and I was experiencing my situational episodes of depression; my psychologist and I scheduled an appt for me to meet with the psychiatrist. The soonest opening was April 30th, so of course I needed to take it to determine what's best for my overall well-being. I've made sooo much progress since then; however, I know I still need to meet with the psychiatrist just to make sure I'm taking all of the right steps. Although I may be able to better control my anxiety now without Rx drugs, chemical imbalances still exist and I even though I may be able to look past the side effects the imbalances may cause; I still need to:
"treat the source of the problem." --- That is a major PT school quote that us healthcare/future healthcare professionals like to practice/live by! :)
By the way, I think tonight's post might have been one of my favorites; I feel that it was relatable in many aspects! I hope you all agree as well!
Goodnight and sweet dreams to you all!! <3
With Much Gratitude---
KC <3
Thanks again to @GBeckhamNews and Chicago Tribune for the link to such a great article to relate to!!
I just came across a great article and wanted to share it with you and give you a little update about a major step I'm attempting to make(for better or worse!) First off, I found this link from one of my followers on Twitter, @GBeckhamNews, no affiliation to Beckham himself.
Anyway, I just really wanted to share it with you all because Beckham definitely displays the important attributes of which 'Mind Gym' speaks.
Although he is currently in a slump; he is not letting it affect his game and where he sees himself going.
I am almost at a loss for words, this article and Gordon Beckham's attitude are simply a perfect example of maintaining optimism and OVERCOMING YOURSELF! LOVE LOVE LOVE this article!!
Here is an excerpt from it that I might have to print, clip, and tape into my personal journal that I keep for myself:
----------------------------------------------------------------
“I’ve been in this situation before and in the past I have let it get the best of me,” Beckham said of his slow start this season. “I just haven’t given in yet, and I don’t intend to give in. I have built up kind of a shell about that kind of stuff. I knew it was early and I knew there was time and I took a step in the right direction."
Source: Chicago Tribune
.....Amazing, right!? I feel like this is much too relatable to the small steps that I speak about in my attempts to overcome my own personal slumps.
As Beckham mentions, he has "been in this situation before" and he allowed it to get the best of him, but is not going to let it this time. I know first hand that each time I allowed my anxiety to get the best of me, I let it take control of my life and my emotions. However, now I know and am constantly taking steps in the right direction to make sure that I "don't give in". It is so important to realize the role you can play in overcoming yourself by simply maintaining that positive perspective, despite the extrinsic & intrinsic forces that we are faced with each day.
One more quote that I really loved was:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“He doesn’t put pressure on us. Obviously everyone wants to perform,” said Beckham, who snapped an 0-for-14 skid at the plate with an RBI single. “I mean, Robin knows that. He has been through it (an 0-for-41 stretch as a rookie), so he’s a patient guy. He has had to be with me lately. I appreciate everything he does for me.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------- Personally, I relate to this on my own level and I find it very touching. Think about it from your own stand point; I pray that each of you are as fortunate as I am to have an understanding and patient support system. If you do not, please try to find one or you can ALWAYS email me, as well as keep following my blog, and I will be there for you as much as I can! The point I want to make is: somewhere out there someone understands what you are going through and they will be patient and help you see your way through it.
As Ventura was once in Beckham's shoes, he understands and is able to see the potential that he(Beckham) possesses, despite his slump. I have several of these individuals in my life, but one that I can almost exactly relate this Ventura-Beckham excerpt to. You know who you are, and I just want to thank you again for believing in my potential, being understanding time after time, and in helping me to work past my anxiety so I can be the individual that I know I really am.
It's getting late and I know that getting adequate sleep each night is vital to mental and emotional health, and I don't want to fall into the 3am-730am sleep pattern again.... NOT HEALTHY!!!
So I need to wrap this up very shortly; my news that I wanted to share with you all is that I am, as I type, 24 hours past the last time I took my medicine for my anxiety!!!! I have been trying to slowly wean myself off of it (.25 mg, tid) in anticipation/hopes that I will be able to manage my anxiety on my own without the use of medicine. Back at the beginning of March when my anxiety was at its peak, and I was experiencing my situational episodes of depression; my psychologist and I scheduled an appt for me to meet with the psychiatrist. The soonest opening was April 30th, so of course I needed to take it to determine what's best for my overall well-being. I've made sooo much progress since then; however, I know I still need to meet with the psychiatrist just to make sure I'm taking all of the right steps. Although I may be able to better control my anxiety now without Rx drugs, chemical imbalances still exist and I even though I may be able to look past the side effects the imbalances may cause; I still need to:
"treat the source of the problem." --- That is a major PT school quote that us healthcare/future healthcare professionals like to practice/live by! :)
By the way, I think tonight's post might have been one of my favorites; I feel that it was relatable in many aspects! I hope you all agree as well!
Goodnight and sweet dreams to you all!! <3
With Much Gratitude---
KC <3
Thanks again to @GBeckhamNews and Chicago Tribune for the link to such a great article to relate to!!
Monday, April 23, 2012
St. Jude's Fundraiser Page Link!
St. Jude's Beach Dash Fund raiser!
^^^^ Link to my fund-raising page and my NON-GENERIC profile/about me info for the event!! :)
Please check it out and help support me, I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!!! <3
-----------------------------------------------------------
Hi everyone!!
Welcome to my fund raising page for St. Jude's!!
If you know me, you know that I love to help children and plan of specialize in pediatric physical therapy once I graduate with my DPT in the Spring of 2014.
In January of 2012 I participated in the Aon Center 'Step Up for Kids' stairclimb in Chicago for Children's Memorial Hospital. I love it and I was very excited to be able to raise money for a local hospital. In May I will be running a 5k downtown Chicago for Lurie Children's Hospital (Children's Memorial) In addition to these events, this summer I will be participating in my 4th summer with the Children's Oncology 'One Step at a Time' Summer Camp. This camp is truly one big family and it is the most amazing and humbling experience I have been a part of. During these 1 or 2 weeks of camp during June; all of the outside world just seems to disappear and every worry & every problem nearly ceases to exist.
So I heard about Beach Dash Chicago and I was totally pumped up for it because it sounded like a blast. Then I got to the payment page and saw $47 dollars (after processing fee) and was totally turned away, THEN I remembered that I could participate in it for St. Jude's!! <3 I immediately rethought it and realized that although $50 may be a lot of money to spend on an event for myself, I would much rather participate in it for St. Jude's so then I'm raising money and participating in it for an amazing cause!
The Beach Dash isn't until July 14th, which is a little less than 3 month's away. My goal is currently set for $250 which I believe is totally achievable, and I actually believe I will be able to exceed this goal through your generosity!
Trust me, I know money can be tight sometimes, so I am not asking for huge donations, I would appreciate any tiny bit of support you would be able to provide towards St. Jude's.
Your gift of money is more than just a gift of money for these children, it is the gift of life.
Please consider supporting me and making any type of contribution you would like!
With Much Gratitude---
Kristin Cullinan
Welcome to my fund raising page for St. Jude's!!
If you know me, you know that I love to help children and plan of specialize in pediatric physical therapy once I graduate with my DPT in the Spring of 2014.
In January of 2012 I participated in the Aon Center 'Step Up for Kids' stairclimb in Chicago for Children's Memorial Hospital. I love it and I was very excited to be able to raise money for a local hospital. In May I will be running a 5k downtown Chicago for Lurie Children's Hospital (Children's Memorial) In addition to these events, this summer I will be participating in my 4th summer with the Children's Oncology 'One Step at a Time' Summer Camp. This camp is truly one big family and it is the most amazing and humbling experience I have been a part of. During these 1 or 2 weeks of camp during June; all of the outside world just seems to disappear and every worry & every problem nearly ceases to exist.
So I heard about Beach Dash Chicago and I was totally pumped up for it because it sounded like a blast. Then I got to the payment page and saw $47 dollars (after processing fee) and was totally turned away, THEN I remembered that I could participate in it for St. Jude's!! <3 I immediately rethought it and realized that although $50 may be a lot of money to spend on an event for myself, I would much rather participate in it for St. Jude's so then I'm raising money and participating in it for an amazing cause!
The Beach Dash isn't until July 14th, which is a little less than 3 month's away. My goal is currently set for $250 which I believe is totally achievable, and I actually believe I will be able to exceed this goal through your generosity!
Trust me, I know money can be tight sometimes, so I am not asking for huge donations, I would appreciate any tiny bit of support you would be able to provide towards St. Jude's.
Your gift of money is more than just a gift of money for these children, it is the gift of life.
Please consider supporting me and making any type of contribution you would like!
With Much Gratitude---
Kristin Cullinan
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for keeping up with me tonight everyone!!
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
Running for a Cause!
Hi guys!
Thanks for keeping up with me!!
Everything has been going great lately! My psychologist has canceled our appointments for the past 2 weeks, but thankfully I have been able to keep helping myself through the use of my blog, 'Mind Gym,' and through various individuals I've been coming into contact with.
I feel like I'm making great progress in the right direction. I've been busy and should be doing a lot more school work than I have been lately, but I know that I will get around to it and dedicate lots of time to school in the next 2 weeks! I can't believe my first year of PT school is almost over! It's amazing how fast it's gone by and I'm soo excited that in 2 short years I will be continuing my life in Chicago! <3
So I just registered for Beach Dash Chicago last night! The event takes place on July 14th so I've got lots of time to get training. I was a bit upset and almost decided not to do the obstacle course/race anymore when I saw it was going to cost me $47 after the processing fee; however I realized I could run it for St. Jude's, then that completely changed my mind. Knowing that I can fund raise and participate in this event for children who are sick made up my mind for me and suddenly $47 didn't seem like so much money!
My event page for St. Jude's currently isn't saving my event info, but here is what I have saved to post to my fund-raising page, and I'll post a separate post with the link to my event and info repeated again! :) I would love love love if you would like to make a contribution to St. Jude's or if you could refer the link to anyone you know that would like to contribute as well!
I wish I could blog some more, but I need to get showered and get my butt working on my homework/studying!
Hang with me these next two weeks as I may be a little busy with finals coming up and may be more cramped for time to blog. You can always check me out on Twitter too @kCull_4
I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend and had a great start to the week. Wishing you all health & happiness!
Also since I don't have too much time to offer motivational and inspiring advice; I'll leave it to RWE and Arnold to speak for me tonight....
-------------------------------------------------------------
I'll expand on this one later, it will take MUCH too long to do right now considering it is my ALL TIME FAVORITE MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE <3
-------------------------------------------------------------
AND Arnold's motivational speech----
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuJ4hbkLiY0
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
Thanks for keeping up with me!!
Everything has been going great lately! My psychologist has canceled our appointments for the past 2 weeks, but thankfully I have been able to keep helping myself through the use of my blog, 'Mind Gym,' and through various individuals I've been coming into contact with.
I feel like I'm making great progress in the right direction. I've been busy and should be doing a lot more school work than I have been lately, but I know that I will get around to it and dedicate lots of time to school in the next 2 weeks! I can't believe my first year of PT school is almost over! It's amazing how fast it's gone by and I'm soo excited that in 2 short years I will be continuing my life in Chicago! <3
So I just registered for Beach Dash Chicago last night! The event takes place on July 14th so I've got lots of time to get training. I was a bit upset and almost decided not to do the obstacle course/race anymore when I saw it was going to cost me $47 after the processing fee; however I realized I could run it for St. Jude's, then that completely changed my mind. Knowing that I can fund raise and participate in this event for children who are sick made up my mind for me and suddenly $47 didn't seem like so much money!
My event page for St. Jude's currently isn't saving my event info, but here is what I have saved to post to my fund-raising page, and I'll post a separate post with the link to my event and info repeated again! :) I would love love love if you would like to make a contribution to St. Jude's or if you could refer the link to anyone you know that would like to contribute as well!
I wish I could blog some more, but I need to get showered and get my butt working on my homework/studying!
Hang with me these next two weeks as I may be a little busy with finals coming up and may be more cramped for time to blog. You can always check me out on Twitter too @kCull_4
I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend and had a great start to the week. Wishing you all health & happiness!
Also since I don't have too much time to offer motivational and inspiring advice; I'll leave it to RWE and Arnold to speak for me tonight....
-------------------------------------------------------------
"What Lies Before Us, and What Lies Behind Us, Are All Small Matters Compared To What Lies WITHIN Us." ---The boss man of all great quotes, Ralph Waldo Emerson! <3
I'll expand on this one later, it will take MUCH too long to do right now considering it is my ALL TIME FAVORITE MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE <3
-------------------------------------------------------------
AND Arnold's motivational speech----
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuJ4hbkLiY0
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
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