Sorry I've been M.I.A. for so long! Finals are finally over and guess who kicked some butt on them? This girl! 3 A's and 2 B's. I worked sooo hard to study and get a B in one of the classes because I was border line B/C and I knew I was not going to settle for that and it was also a very important class to me for many reasons! Anyway, I am soooo happy and proud to say that I made it through my first year of Physical Therapy school! It's simply amazing, I have been working at this for so long and to actually see that my hard work is paying off and making progress is just beautiful! I have 2 more years of schooling left and I know it is going to fly by just as quickly. I can not wait to be out in the real world and actually applying what I have learned in my education to help others! I feel like I have become so much smarter in every aspect, I have been through the best and worst of times throughout the course of these past 5 years but I have rolled with the punches and I have stayed strong because I know where my focuses are and I will not lose sight of them!
Workouts have not been going so well. Aside from finals or work consuming my every free moment last week, I also went for a nice long run last Monday and to add to it we were practicing LE (lower extremity) testing on each other for a final, and I think I just pushed myself to hard, and also... in addition to a little tumble I had a few weeks ago in which I hurt my hip (iliopsoas) my body ended up just HATING me after my run. I took the rest of the week off due to the inability to walk (min. dorsiflexion) without pain in my left calf. I spent the entire week just icing, resting, elevating, and applying icy hot to my gastroc. I'm feeling much much much better this week, I have been seeing the chiropractor and he was able to stretch out my psoas for me and did some US on my calf which I believe benefited me greatly. I'm just in the dumps over it right now because not only am I packing on some weight.. but I- LOVE- TO- WORK-OUT/ RUN/ BE ACTIVE...soooo, when your hurt and you study this stuff everyday and you know about the kinetic chain and how a problem in one place may lead to problems else where to compensate... you reallllllyyy need to listen to your mind and what you know about healing and just trust yourself. You can't push your body past its limits, the body takes time to heal and you must be willing to let it do so!
So I'm really happy to say that I'm still doing really well on maintaining a positive perspective on my life, despite my small injuries! I am still on the right path and am trying very hard to acknowledge the negative influences in my life that will set back the personal progress that I am working to achieve.
One thing that I kind of had an "Ahhh-HA" moment about, which y'all may think I'm absolutely crazy for realizing and pointing out now, so feel free to shake your head and just say "Wow Kristin, you JUST realized this now???!!" But what I'm coming to terms with is that fact that YOU need to make yourself happy and not let other people influence your happiness. For so soo long I have just installed this idea in my mind that I need a boyfriend to complete my happiness, but truth is, you can't make someone else happy before you can make yourself happy. Very clique and heard of many many times, so I'm about 300 years too late for a copyright on that one! But honestly! Whether it be a boyfriend, a friend, a parent, a co-worker, a teacher or a counselor, whoever it may be... you cannot let them be in control of your happiness. One- they are not always going to be there for you, and what happens when they are not? You can not relapse and wonder how you are going to carry on and be happy now. They were in your life for a reason, and yes, they made you happy while they were there with the memories that you had established with them and the support, comfort, security, and love that they provided while they were there; however, they may have made you happy, but think about life before them or while they were not around. Were you happy still? Hopefully the answer is yes! I went through a really disappointing and miserable time for awhile over a break up. I sometimes sit and dread over it and like to make myself miserable by thinking about how I was so happy in it and where things went wrong and wished things would have turned out different. I always remind myself of how perfect everything seemed to be [problem #21234245....nothing is EVER perfect..and if it is.... you've got a problem...and in this case, my 'relationship' was what I had considered my real life fairytale! YIKES] I couldn't have asked for it all to work out any more perfectly, it was the life I could have seen myself living with a person I thought I could see myself being content with the rest of my life, but I was wrong. When you build up something too much too soon, your walls are often times than not destined to come crumbling down on you, especially when you believe that this person completes your ring of happiness. Your ring of happiness is completed SOLELY by YOU, not by someone else, don't ever let a good, temporary situation make you believe that it was what you needed to be absolutely happy.
I came up with a quote that is helping me to maintain the right path every time I think to look back at that relationship and say that it was what I needed to make me happy...... "I'm slowly learning that it's more important consider what you deserve over what you simply just want." In the case of that relationship, I was heartbroken over how it ended because I put it on a golden pedestal. Gold is always nice, but sometimes gold loses its value and does shine so bright anymore. Who doesn't want gold, or diamonds or something of high value? It's "really great" and others look at you with envy and wish they had the same and wonder how you got it and how they can get it. Gold looks great from the outside, but when it comes down to it, is gold what you really deserve or is it just what you really want? What about having millions and millions of penny's [a little unrealistic, but just go with it! ;) ] These ugly little copper coins have no value to anyone, we just pass them up on the street or toss them into a lake or fountain without second thought. These little penny's, if collected, could add up to one big reward of which you deserve. It might not look so great while its lying there, worn, and eroded on the road, however, the little things are what will add up and eventually make you happy. My point is, don't pass up the small things, such as the penny's, that come across your path; they may actually lead you to the same place that those diamonds or gold would have. Don't let the gold be the determinant of your happiness, your happiness is in fact, YOUR happiness, don't lose sight and get caught up in what you think you need to make you happy.
G'night everyone!
BTW, check out my Twitter... its easier to keep up with me on there for those days that I get to be too busy to update my blog!
--------> kCull_4
I also promised you a picture that I took earlier when I posted my blog this afternoon, so here it is.....
This is where I was hoping to post my entire blog from today, but I was running short on time, but it was a B-E-A-UTIFUL day out in Chicago today!! I cannnnnoooottttt hardly wait to move up there and live my life! 2 years, 2 years, 2 years!!! :)
G'night lovers!
<3
KC
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