Getting Lost on your Path

Hi everyone!

Sorry for my slack of posting!

I guess I've kind of been in a little bit of an inspirational writing slump, for a good reason though!!  Although I do still have things that cause me anxiety, I am very happy to say that I do believe I've overcomed a large part of my anxiety which was what I centered my "Overcome Yourself" phrase around before.  I really can't owe it to 'Mind Gym' enough for helping me to pull myself together and get my  head where it needs to be. 

For the past couple of months I've really been working to turn myself into more of an inner athlete.  I've been getting very big into running and healthy eating which have both contributed towards a balance in my overall well-being.  I'm paying more attention, yet trying not to obsess over my injuries/aches/pains as a result of my increased physical activity, but I am making sure that I do not push myself past my physical boundaries. 

I think that becoming more involved and picking up extra hobbies and interests has also helped me to redirect my thoughts and focus more on the things I want to see myself doing.  In case you have missed it, Instagram is developing to be a huge social/photo networking site.  I'm sure there's a certain name for that stuff, but I can't recall it off the top of my head.  Instagram, along with the awesomeness of the mega-pixels of my iPhone, have allowed me to experiment more with photography which I have always had an interest in, but never the tools that make it so easy.  I've got Adobe PhotoShop 7.0 installed on my computer but, if you have ever used it, you know how overwhelming and complicated it can be to understand at first. 


I can't get over how great of a day I had yesterday, for the smallest of reasons too.  I started my day off in the Southwest suburbs of Chicago and worked my way up to the Northwest suburbs where I did some shopping and randomly thought about one of my best guy friends in the area and chatted and grabbed dinner with him. Overall, I couldn't have asked for much more to have gone well with my trip yesterday!  For one, I got to see a great friend, secondly, my CHICAGO WHITE SOX SWEPT THE CUBBIES!!! (Sorry Cubs fan readers!) and third, I really just enjoy the time alone, I love to drive aimlessly and go wherever my little heart pleases, I love to get lost and discover the parts of Illinois that I may never see, I love finding my way back home with no directions and just ending up wherever I do along the way.  I guess that's comparable to life right? Sometimes you find yourself traveling in the direction that you did not intend to go.  You don't know where to road is going to take you, but you keep going on it until you are able to gain your sense of direction and get yourself back on the right path.  Once your on that path again, unexpected detours or SERIOUSLY, bends in roads (that almost take you to Wisconsin, oops!) may come up.  They might seem scary and you might look at it as being a longgggg way from home and from the path that you had originally wanted to be on, but you just go with it anyway.  Eventually, maybe it took much longer than expected, you will find yourself back on a familiar path.  Sometimes we have to go without a direction and it is up to ourselves to do what we will with what we are given.  We may ask for help along the way, we may call up a parent or friend for directions or we may just keep going at it alone.  Whatever option you choose to get back on the right track is what you need to do.  Don't be afraid to ask for help when your lost, we've all done it.  If you are lost and alone, and choose to find your way by yourself, just sit back and enjoy the ride, turn up the music and enjoy the scenery along the way, you may be there awhile but its a ride worth taking.  Try to turn the negatives of your lost journey into positives!  You can think about where you are, where you are going, and how you need to get there.  It is a great time to refocus and take time to yourself to see where you are and what the world has to offer you!


HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!

Until next time----



KC<3

YOU Are Your Own Happiness, Your Relationship is NOT!

Hi guys!

Sorry I've been M.I.A. for so long!  Finals are finally over and guess who kicked some butt on them?  This girl!  3 A's and 2 B's.  I worked sooo hard to study and get a B in one of the classes because I was border line B/C and I knew I was not going to settle for that and it was also a very important class to me for many reasons!  Anyway, I am soooo happy and proud to say that I made it through my first year of Physical Therapy school!  It's simply amazing, I have been working at this for so long and to actually see that my hard work is paying off and making progress is just beautiful!  I have 2 more years of schooling left and I know it is going to fly by just as quickly.  I can not wait to be out in the real world and actually applying what I have learned in my education to help others!  I feel like I have become so much smarter in every aspect, I have been through the best and worst of times throughout the course of these past 5 years but I have rolled with the punches and I have stayed strong because I know where my focuses are and I will not lose sight of them! 

Workouts have not been going so well.  Aside from finals or work consuming my every free moment last week, I also went for a nice long run last Monday and to add to it we were practicing LE (lower extremity) testing on each other for a final, and I think I just pushed myself to hard, and also... in addition to a little tumble I had a few weeks ago in which I hurt my hip (iliopsoas) my body ended up just HATING me after my run.  I took the rest of the week off due to the inability to walk (min. dorsiflexion) without pain in my left calf.  I spent the entire week just icing, resting, elevating, and applying icy hot to my gastroc.  I'm feeling much much much better this week, I have been seeing the chiropractor and he was able to stretch out my psoas for me and did some US on my calf which I believe benefited me greatly.  I'm just in the dumps over it right now because not only am I packing on some weight.. but I- LOVE- TO- WORK-OUT/ RUN/ BE ACTIVE...soooo, when your hurt and you study this stuff everyday and you know about the kinetic chain and how a problem in one place may lead to problems else where to compensate... you reallllllyyy need to listen to your mind and what you know about healing and just trust yourself.  You can't push your body past its limits, the body takes time to heal and you must be willing to let it do so!


So I'm really happy to say that I'm still doing really well on maintaining a positive perspective on my life, despite my small injuries!  I am still on the right path and am trying very hard to acknowledge the negative influences in my life that will set back the personal progress that I am working to achieve.

One thing that I kind of had an "Ahhh-HA" moment about, which y'all may think I'm absolutely crazy for realizing and pointing out now, so feel free to shake your head and just say "Wow Kristin, you JUST realized this now???!!"  But what I'm coming to terms with is that fact that YOU need to make yourself happy and not let other people influence your happiness.  For so soo long I have just installed this idea in my mind that I need a boyfriend to complete my happiness, but truth is, you can't make someone else happy before you can make yourself happy.  Very clique and heard of many many times, so I'm about 300 years too late for a copyright on that one!  But honestly!  Whether it be a boyfriend, a friend, a parent, a co-worker, a teacher or a counselor, whoever it may be... you cannot let them be in control of your happiness.  One- they are not always going to be there for you, and what happens when they are not?  You can not relapse and wonder how you are going to carry on and be happy now.  They were in your life for a reason, and yes, they made you happy while they were there with the memories that you had established with them and the support, comfort, security, and love that they provided while they were there; however, they may have made you happy, but think about life before them or while they were not around.  Were you happy still?  Hopefully the answer is yes!  I went through a really disappointing and miserable time for awhile over a break up.  I sometimes sit and dread over it and like to make myself miserable by thinking about how I was so happy in it and where things went wrong and wished things would have turned out different.  I always remind myself of how perfect everything seemed to be [problem #21234245....nothing is EVER perfect..and if it is.... you've got a problem...and in this case, my 'relationship' was what I had considered my real life fairytale! YIKES]  I couldn't  have asked for it all to work out any more perfectly, it was the life I could have seen myself living with a person I thought I could see myself being content with the rest of my life, but I was wrong.  When you build up something too much too soon, your walls are often times than not destined to come crumbling down on you, especially when you believe that this person completes your ring of happiness.  Your ring of happiness is completed SOLELY by YOU, not by someone else, don't ever let a good, temporary situation make you believe that it was what you needed to be absolutely happy.

I came up with a quote that is helping me to maintain the right path every time I think to look back at that relationship and say that it was what I needed to make me happy...... "I'm slowly learning that it's more important consider what you deserve over what you simply just want."  In the case of that relationship, I was heartbroken over how it ended because I put it on a golden pedestal.  Gold is always nice, but sometimes gold loses its value and does shine so bright anymore.  Who doesn't want gold, or diamonds or something of high value?  It's "really great" and others look at you with envy and wish they had the same and wonder how you got it and how they can get it.  Gold looks great from the outside, but when it comes down to it, is gold what you really deserve or is it just what you really want?  What about having millions and millions of penny's [a little unrealistic,  but just go with it! ;) ] These ugly little copper coins have no value to anyone, we just pass them up on the street or toss them into a lake or fountain without second thought.  These little penny's, if collected, could add up to one big reward of which you deserve.  It might not look so great while its lying there, worn, and eroded on the road, however, the little things are what will add up and eventually make you happy.  My point is, don't pass up the small things, such as the penny's, that come across your path; they may actually lead you to the same place that those diamonds or gold would have.  Don't let the gold be the determinant of your happiness, your happiness is in fact, YOUR happiness, don't lose sight and get caught up in what you think you need to make you happy.


G'night everyone!

BTW, check out my Twitter... its easier to keep up with me on there for those days that I get to be too busy to update my blog!
-------->   kCull_4

I also promised you a picture that I took earlier when I posted my blog this afternoon, so here it is.....

This is where I was hoping to post my entire blog from today, but I was running short on time, but it was a B-E-A-UTIFUL day out in Chicago today!! I cannnnnoooottttt hardly wait to move up there and live my life!  2 years, 2 years, 2 years!!! :)



G'night lovers!




<3
KC

I wish I could stay in this spot forever.

Hey guys! I'm hanging out and enjoying the day up here in Chicago! It is beyond a beautiful day out and I wish you could enjoy the view with me that I have right now as I write this, I'll attach a picture later. I need to make this post rather quickly because I need to head down to my appt with my rheumatologist that is at 2pm and lord knows it'll take me forever to get there with the city driving!! I just wanted to let you know that I WILL update tonight with a post and share some things I've came to realize and experienced over the course of the past 2 weeks. Can't wait to update and I'll do it ASAP! Hope you all enjoy this beautiful Monday! <3 KC

I'm back!!

Hey everyone! Finals are over and I'm finally ready to start blogging again! I'm sorry for my absence but in that time I came up with some really great things that I can't wait to share! Hope you all have been doing great and I hope those of you that I lost over my week long break wil be joining me again!! Im spending mother's day with my mother and grandmother right now though so I will be sure to update later tonight! Happy mothers day to you all and I hope you are enjoying the beautiful day wherever you may be!! With much gratitude! KC<3

Climbing the Financial Mountain

Hi everyone!

Sooo this is my exciting Friday night! Honestly though, I do love the down time.  It's been a crazy past 2 weeks of final exams and I still have ALL of next week to look forward to as well.  All of next week means:

• Monday- 1 final practical on level surface crutches, walker, cane training
• Tuesday- 1 MAJOR final lab practical over the lower extremity, then work overnight from 330-Wednesday AM
• Wednesday- work for a different family from 930am-430pm
• Thursday- Lab Practical over stair training for crutches, walker, and cane, then 2 lecture practicals back to back starting at 300 and finally ending at 730 pm
• Friday- lecture practical at 1 pm.

GOD help me not to lose my mind in this next week!  I think I'll do fine as long as I distribute my time accordingly and don't allow myself to get overwhelmed!   Taking it one test at a time, and studying ahead for some exams will really help me to "Keep Calm and Carry On"

I realized tonight how much summer school, for TWO ONLINE classes is going to cost me.  Approximately $2,100.  YIKES!  I wish I could say I knew how the heck I'm going to afford this, considering financial aid from this past year was fully consumed for the past 2 semesters of tuition + living + health expenses.  Yes, budgeting may have helped me to land myself in a better position than I find myself in at this point; however, it's just unfortunate that the worry for needing to know how to pay for school is a problem.  I'm trying to keep my cool and not get worked up about it because I know it will all work out some how, but it just stinks soo much that getting an education has to cost so much.  I REALLLLLY don't want to get into politics within my blog because that's not what I want to write about, and I know many people have different views on issues within politics, but my blog is something that we have in common and I'm glad you keep following it for whatever reason you do! <3 (Thank you!!!!)

I guess considering the cost of education and the sacrifices I am making along the way to obtain it; I am ultimately grateful for the ups and downs of the financial situation.  I come from your typical middle, working class family.  Throughout my entire life I have seen the financial burdens that my parents have endured.

• I've seen my family living week to week on their paychecks
• I've seen my parents argue about expenses and how to pay bills 
• I've seen my parents sharing 1 car between the two of them several times for months or years at a time.
• I've seen my friends driving their brand new cars they got when they turned 16 while I still got dropped off at school by my parents until I was 19 years old.
• I've seen my dad lose his job that he held for over 20 years and result in accepting a job that pays less than the $12 p/hr that I now make babysitting

I've seen a lot of problems that stemmed from the financial burdens that my family has been exposed to, but you know what else I have seen?

• I've seen my parents sacrifice their hard earned money to send my brother and I to a Catholic grade school so that we didn't have to attend the local public school with a poor education system
• I've seen the Grand Canyon, Sedona, AZ(beautiful!!), Disney World, New York City, the oceans, the mountains, the country's interstates from coast to coast
• I've seen the memories that I've retained from each of these trips that required months and months of my parents saving up for so that we could them.
• I've seen my mom working as a social worker that makes $30,000 at best and be happy and content with her job because she loves what she does despite the lack of income.
• I've seen my parents continually try to provide the best for our family despite other financial obligations
• I've seen the money that my parents took out of their paychecks to save up and establish a college funds savings account for my brother and I both.    

And perhaps most importantly:

•  I've seen the individual that I've become through my work ethic and determination as a result of the financial struggles that I've lived through.  

I know that I want to pursue a graduate degree in Physical Therapy because; although my parents struggles were actually **~blessings in disguise~**, I don't want my children to be 9 years old and have to know what the phrase "making ends meet" means.  OF COURSE this is not the only reason I am doing physical therapy.  I love and value helping others and feel like physical therapy is such an amazing way to do so; what better feeling can you REALLY, truly feel than when you help an individual start walking or running again after they have been told they may never stand again on their own?

Realizing my current financial situation with summer school and the large amount of student/parent loan debt I, and my parents have acquired over the years and continue to rack up, I know that I am still blessed.  When I started this post, I was still quite upset and anxious about the whole money situation.  As I wrote this, and as I now sit here typing, I continue to acknowledge that money or the lack there of, has brought me to where I am today.  Money may be tight and free/'me' time may be tight as well, but it is tight for a good reason.  I have a goal that I am working towards, and in approx. 2 years from this date I will be walking across a stage with a diploma in my hand and I will be on my way to making money doing what I love.

I am a student, I am wise, I am determined, I am a hard worker, I am growing, I am learning, I am accepting, I am motivated and I will remained focused despite the obstacles that are thrown my way.

HOW do I keep doing it? And WHY do I do it?
THIS IS WHY-- AND THIS IS MY GOAL AND MY PASSION :

Adam Taliaferro: an AMAZING video! Please check it out! <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soOuzLs3CRY

(Also, check out 'Miracle in the Making' by  Brown, S & Carchidi, S...it is the book about Adam Taliaferro's journey= FANTASTIC STORY!)





Thank you all so much for reading--


KC<3

How to Control Your Own Success

 [I meant to post this yesterday but my internet is not working right so I couldn't publish it, so consider this yesterdays post! :)    ]

------------------------------------- 

Hi All!!

I was thinking to myself today after completing a very important final exam.  I studied my butt off for it..of course I could have studied much much harder and for days on end to guarantee that I would ace it, however I did not.  I studied hard, yet I still managed to maintain my sanity.  

So come on, who doesn't love acing a test?  It gives you a great sense of accomplishment and pride and a 'nice standing' amongst others that you may have scored higher than.  I did not ace this test, and this is a-okay with me. I am not salty about it, nor am I trying to make myself feel better about it.  Typically in this class I start studying for the test too soon to the day of the exam, I spend countless hours trying to cram in all the information at the last minute, and then I end up staying up till 3am studying for it the night before and wake up at 7 am to resume last minute studying.  This is probably the worst way to go about studying for an exam.  Your brain and your body are fighting each other and I know first hand that it typically plays out in your performance. 

This is all besides the point though,  today as I was walking down to campus I thought about how I did on that test and I was happy.  Yes, maybe my grade wasn't the highest in the class, and frankly, who cares?  I my pride comes from that fact that I studied much further in advance for this test, I went to bed at a decent time without worrying about how much information I still needed to know, and I woke up in the morning, refreshed and ready to take on the test.  I am satisfied with my grade because to me, it is a reflection of my personal growth.  My main objective on this test was to score a higher grade than my last test in this class, and I did!  This, to me, is much more important that trying to be 'the smartest person in the class,' my goal to outscore my self is just another step taken in overcoming myself. 

Don't compare yourself to others, you are your own determinant of your success.  Do you want to continuously compare yourself to others?  Not everyone has the same goals; your goals will vary greatly in how much value is placed on them compared to the person next to you. If one 'bad thing' happens such as not receiving the test grade you tried so hard for, or if you worked your butt off only to fall short of your target; do not become discouraged or take it out on yourself.  One of my favorite quotes helps me to explain my point-----

"There is no such thing as failure, there is only success and quitting, and I'm not a quitter."

 This quote is fantastic, however, it really makes you think.  This is how I think about it, and I hope you can do the same.  There really is no such thing as failure, failure does not exist.  Before I give you the 'official' definition of failure, let me tell you what I think "failure" is.  The WORD 'failure' is a negative title/description given to the inability to achieve a desired outcome.  Now, the actual definition of failure that is given on the internet from thefreedictionary.com:

Failure:

1. The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends: the failure of an experiment.

2. One that fails: a failure at one's career.

3. The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short: a crop failure.

4. A cessation of proper functioning or performance: a power failure.

5. Nonperformance of what is requested or expected; omission: failure to report a change of address.

6. The act or fact of failing to pass a course, test, or assignment.

7. A decline in strength or effectiveness.

8. The act or fact of becoming bankrupt or insolvent.

UMM, okay, **cough*pessimist!!*cough**

So apparentlyyyyy, failure results because you fail at your career, you fall short, your ineffective, you lack strength, you can't achieve success in school/work/money/life, and because you lack power.  

I want to explain to you how this is completely inaccurate, from an optimistic standpoint!  I believe that failure does not exist.  As the quote states, there is success, and there is quitting.  No matter how hard you attempted to make the team, or get a grade, or whatever the case may be, if you NEVER gave up on trying the entire time, you NEVER quit giving your every effort.  This in itself is --PURE SUCCESS!!--  Now, if you just sell yourself short and just give up and don't make your goal, you did not fail, you just quit trying.  I had this discussion with someone awhile ago and explained what this quote means and how failure really doesn't exist, which he believed opposite.  He brought up a scenario-- "What about a football player that practices and practices to try and make it to the NFL but doesn't make it?" EASY answer!--- did he ever quit trying? NO! He may not have made it to the NFL but he still never gave up.  Although the individual did not meet his final goal, he kept trying and practicing to achieve the success he wished to achieve.  In my opinion, you are successful until you quit.   My response to this individual about his NFL scenario was that, earlier that day I had a lab practical that I practiced and practiced and studied my brains out for, and what did I end up getting on it?  I got a 17.5/20, (lowest possible before a retake is necessary is a 16/20).  I explained to  him that although I didn't get a 19/20 on it like I would have loved for the amount of studying I put in, I was still happy with my grade, I achieved my own personal success because I could have given up and quit studying many times, but I didn't.   I studied up until the minute I walked into the practical examination room and went in there and performed the best that I could. ---- This is what fuels me and motivates me to accomplish my goals.  I NEVER give up, no matter how many demands are placed on me or no matter how difficult the task.

Another point this individual made me realize is when I was asked, "Do you like to win? Or do you just not like to lose?"  I had to think about it, and I realized that I really just don't like to lose.  Winning, is very similar to placing the highest in the class on a test, you are only first, but what more than that have you really truly accomplished on the inside?  

I don't know for certain; however, I believe that to those who constantly win, the sense of accomplishment isn't as great for those who don't always come in first, but refuse to finish last. 

I will leave you on that note for the night, think hard about it and examine your own self, where do you fall, what do you believe to be true about these quotes? I'd love to hear your input and how it applies to your life!!

G'night world, sleep tight! <3

With Much Gratitude---
KC<3