So sorry for going M.I.A. on my blog, hopefully I'll be able to gain some of you back! **fingers crossed!**
Hmm, soo what have I been up to this past month? For starters, I've had a huge writers block! I have been on a little mental vacation and have not really had really insightful things to write about. I've been very lethargic and have had a bit of brain fog and can't just put thoughts together in my head or organize all my priorities. This would then result in what would be a very meaningless blog posts, so be thankful I have not been writing! : P
I am so so so so happy and anxious to inform you all that I have been directly focusing on my fitness and nutrition lately though! This is the type of material that I have a passion for, along with my physical therapy degree as well, of course! What I'm getting at is that I have been focusing on these things for myself and for others also, why is this important to mention now you might ask? Well let me tell ya!
For a little over the past month I've been tossing around the idea of doing the Chicago Half Marathon and 5k on September 9, 2012!!! I officially decided to do it in May and now I am in the middle of a 14 week training and nutrition plan!!! YAYY!!!!! I am SOO excited to do this, the Children's Oncology Services Inc., One Step at a Time Camp that I volunteer for has a running team that will be participating in this event and I have decided to join their team in hopes of raising money for COSI, http://www.onestepcamp.org/ <-----CHECK IT OUT, this camp has had half of my heart for the past 4 years!!!! <3
Not only have I decided to run the Half Marathon but I have also been participating in a 1x/wk women's kickboxing class that will soon be 2x/wk starting in July!! This kickboxing class is down right intense! This isn't your YMCA or Rec. Center kickboxing, this is full out taped wrists, boxing gloves, bags, pads, tire flipping, bag hanging, plyometrics, combo throwing, kicking, etc for 1.5 pure muscle burning and sweat dripping hours! I love it, I'm dedicated to it and have the desire to get myself in the best shape possible! I love doing things like this because it is a challenge and I love making myself work hard and knowing that I won't quit until my workout is over!
My next big announcement is that through Twitter, @kCull_4, I participated in their #Northside vs #Southside Challenge last week to be eligible for a chance to play in a 16" softball game on 6-21 in Chicago where I will be coached by either Ryan Dempster or A.J. Pierzynski! Nike informed me on Wednesday that I was chosen and that I will be a player in that game.... can't watch to play for the #Southside, thanks ahead of time Coach Pierzynski!!! <3 WOOOO!!!! I'm sooo excited, I'm tellin' ya'll, the Nike Fuel Band is where it's at!!!!! Nike really scored some points in my book with this one!!! :)
Soooo OF COURSE all of these things make me soo proud of myself but the reason that it does really make me that much happier is because I look back at where I was with my life this exact time 3 months ago and I was a completely different person. Things were at a very low point, and thankfully I was able to pull myself through it with the support of others and look at me now. I would like to share some things that make me proud of my progress and make me realize and appreciate the opportunities that I have been blessed with....
friend:
- how are you
- ive seen better days, how about yourself?
friend:
- who cares about me whats wrong!?
ME:
- it doesnt really matter
friend:
- okay just trying to help!
- Im sorry
ME:
- its kay
- theres really nothing to help with
friend:
- understandable
- hows everything else
ME
- honestly, it all sucks
- im quite the debbie downer, i wish i could tell you something im really happy about right now but i really cant..
- maybe the fact that i started working out again makes me kinda happy?
Why is this so important to share with you all? Because this is a direct conversation I had with a friend on March 19th, I love the part where I say "The fact that I started working out again makes me kinda happy?" I believe staying busy, active and focusing my negative energy in a different place helps me to establish the important things in my life and to maintain a sense of balance with my mental and emotional well-being! Looking at this makes me proud, yet it breaks my heart. This person is not who I am and I hate seeing myself at those low points. Over the course of time, I've been able to realize with the help of my psychiatrist, that my lows are abnormally low. This is where I lead into my depressed moods. I have been prescribed a medication, Celexa, that will help regulate that and my anxiety as well (hence the reason for my brain fog and lethargy!) So far I'm not noticing a huge change myself (I just want to stop feeling tired all the time) but my boss did mention to me that she loves seeing me so happy and that I seem so light and stress free now, perhaps because I'm on summer vacation as well too? But I am happy to say that I can not even remember the last time I needed to take a Xanax!!!! That is really great, I had no problem whatsoever coming off of it, but I was on a low dose so I DO NOT recommend anyone else do the same without your doctors guidance!
I want to close on this quote and advice that I received from a teacher during that same low point, I hope it is able to touch you as much as it did for me.
"You feel however you do, and that's OK. As long as you are safe, then that is all that matters. You are getting the help you need, so I am glad for that. It is really difficult to ask for help, so you have one of the hardest parts out of the way."
---cut other info out, then my teacher closed with this......---
***"I have been where you are. It gets better. Really."***
----And then I lost it. It's just so comforting to have someone who understands what your going through be there to tell you it will be okay. You might choose not to listen and believe them because you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but you just need to keep your head up and keep walking. It is there, whatever hard time you are currently facing is only temporary. It hurts bad, I know and its unfair that anyone should hurt the way you do, but please listen and trust me when I tell you to take it as a learning experience. You will grow from this and learn things about yourself. You will be able to take those learning experiences and use the knowledge that you've gained to in turn help others. I have faith in you and I know that it is just a rough patch, please realize that you can help yourself. Asking for others to help is not a weakness either, I am not ashamed to admit that I see a psychiatrist to help regulate what is going on with me, I'm not embarrassed to admit I take an anti-depressant/anxiety medicine. These are not weaknesses, this is me showing that I am strong enough to realize when I need additional help to take care of my well-being. Please don't be afraid to do the same if you feel you need to.
Love and Gratitude---
KC<3
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