Woo Whoooo!! I'm finally ready for my first post and I'm really feelin' my "simple design" blog, so I hope you do as well!
I'm beginning to realize that now more than ever I am overlooking all of the blessings in my life. Life in itself is a true blessing, yet it is important to take into consideration the small things that life consists of. Counting your blessings can be overlooked when it seems like the world is trying to swallow you whole.
In the past year, I feel like that is what has happened to my life. I have never felt so small and incompetent in my entire life. In the summer of 2011, I sat at a White Sox game with my family and told my mom I just felt 'out of it' and like everything else was going on around me and I just could not focus, I felt as if I was not actually a part of my own life. There, I believe, begins the dreaded anxiety.
I started physical therapy school at NIU in the fall of 2011. Being a part of a small population of students across the world is a blessing. Most programs accept ~24-80 students per year. Undergraduate courses are demanding and you do not know what these 'blow off classes' and "easy" prerequisite classes are that your friends talk about. NIU accepts 36, and I am one of them that will walk across the stage proudly in May of 2014 when I earn, let me reemphasize that statement, when I *EARN* my Doctorate of Physical Therapy degree! PT school has been anything but easy, physically, emotionally, and as I have found myself now writing a blog because of it, MENTALLY exhausting.
My anxiety began as school began, and only continues(ed) to progress as school goes on. I have Rx medication that helps me to deal with it, and it does help. However I can't rely on medicine to help me to be a headstrong individual. I have recently sought out the help of a psychologist as well, which I am grateful for. He helps me to look past the individual that my anxiety has turned me into and bring out the me that is stuck in a locked room with no door handle to get out.
As I mentioned before, my blessings are often times than not, going unnoticed. God gives us blessings, yet as quickly as they come into our lives, they may leave as well. I was blessed with the opportunity to meet someone that taught me many life lessons and things about myself that I could ever imagine possible. Although he is no longer part of my life, he blessed me with a special gift that is continuing to help me. He gave me a book, okay..."great," I thought, "another book that I'll never have time to read and just add to my bookshelf of 20 books for the semester." It sat around for awhile until about 2 weeks ago. Life has been a roller coaster lately and I needed to help myself somehow, so over Easter weekend, I hopped in the tub and started reading. Needless to say, I fell in love. I was given this book because he has read it, knew about my anxiety and how it was affecting my daily performance, and bought it for me in hopes that it would benefit me (I'm assuming this was his thought process).
This book, entitled, "Mind Gym, 'An Athlete's Guide To Inner Excellence' " by Gary Mack and David Casstevens, has me GLUED! I have more page corners bent, pen marks, and stars that are all highlighting my favorite lines or applicable ideas/scenarios to my life. I want to share and expand on what I achieve through reading this book with all of you! It has been helping me sort out my personal conflicts more than I ever thought possible.
SO the book is GREAT...I'm only on page 71, and if I had the time I would pick it up and literally read it from start to finish in one sitting. Unfortunately, grad school doesn't want me to do this and would rather me write 23 page research papers and then put together an amazzinggg powerpoint over it as well! ;)
Through the inspiration of the book and ironically (??) through the person who gave it to me, I have been able to slowly pick up the pieces of my life and work on my goals again. Although the individual may have set me behind on picking up the pieces of my life, he is still the reason why I am doing this right now and am setting goals for myself that I wish to achieve. Through his short presence in my life, I was able to admire his characteristics and the charisma that he possessed, as well as his work ethic and determination to reach his goals. I am grateful that I was exposed to these traits in an individual because honestly, I aspire to have the characteristics that this person displayed.
ANYWAYY! I'll start to wrap this up now because it's late and I have a trip to make to the Chi in the morning, but I will finish with stating the goals that I have planned for myself in the next couple months:
May 12th- 5k in Chicago for Lurie Children's Hospital!! :)
July 14th- BEACH DASH CHICAGO!!
July 28th- SOUTH SHORE TRIATHLON in Chicago!!!!! (still pending, but I know I want to do it for myself!!)
I'm sooooooooo excited to start training for each of these events!! "Pre-training" officially began on April 12th, 2012.... and sometime this week my Nike Fuel Band will be arriving sooooo let the TRAINING begin and go alll summer long once that baby comes in!!! Can't wait!!!
Tonight's blog was alittle here and there, but from here on out I'll try and have much more structure to them and not just ramble off everything at once!!
Night Loves!!
With Much Gratitude---
KC<3
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